The holiday magic is in the air, and we've got something extra special for all of you â gift baskets that are not just presents but portals to a world of fun and learning! Get ready to unwrap joy, laughter, and a whole lot of excitement with our irresistible holiday gift baskets designed for everyone in the family!
It's time to celebrate the incredible moms in our lives with gifts that go beyond the ordinary. This year, why not choose presents that unwrap not just smiles, but also a world of fun, a bit naughty and educational? Check out below these irresistible holiday gift ideas to make every moment count for the amazing moms who deserve the very best.
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This holiday season, give the gift of sensual wellness through energetic awareness. We all knew that intimacy with yourself was a step on the right direction to self-love Moms work hard, and this retreat-in-a-basket is a perfect way to help them unwind and rejuvenate.
Gemstone Yoni - a luxury sex toy & Yoni Egg company designed to "spiritually nourish" women by awakening higher levels of orgasmic pleasure.Â
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Hand carved from 100% GIA certified crystal, Gemstone Yoni's goal is to revolutionize the female orgasm. Moving away from the traditional vibration-induced climax, we want women to tap into a gradual arousal, a steady succulent climb, building up an organic accumulation of sexual energy, leading to a conscious, full-bodied, expansive orgasm. |
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For the mom who loves expressing herself through fashion and comfortable lingerie, consider adding a unique and empowering graphic tee or undies to the mix.Â
NOTE: Remember, the key is to be mindful of the recipient's preferences and comfort level when including more personal items. Always prioritize thoughtfulness and respect in your gift-giving. If you're unsure about their preferences or comfort level, it might be a good idea to choose items that align more closely with their interests, hobbies, or self-care routines.
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Lorals for Pleasure - Ultra-thin and incredibly stretchy, Lorals for Pleasure feel luxurious against the skin and transfer every lick, touch, and tease. Go ahead â rim without worry, dress up in sexy latex lingerie, and boost your confidence and comfort while wearing it. |
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Nasty Peach Crewneck Sweatshirts - For the mom who loves expressing herself through fashion, consider adding a unique and empowering sweatshirt to the mix. Look for a sweatshirt with a message or design that resonates with her personality, whether it's a witty slogan, a favorite quote, or an artistic illustration. This adds a touch of individuality to the gift basket. |
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From imaginative play to interactive exploration, here's a curated list of irresistible holiday gifts that will make their eyes light up with joy.
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Elevate their confidence with a keychain that makes a powerful statement everywhere they go. Choose a keychain with an inspiring message just like our My Little Yoni Bag Charm. Our MLY Bag Charm effortlessly complements any bag, from totes to backpacks. |
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 Addressing the transition into adolescence with sensitivity, include a thoughtful period kit. Teena is a must-have product for girls that will help them period period-ready! Teena App is here to help by making period tracking accurate and educating you on whatâs going on inside the body in real-time. |
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Enrich their minds with an interactive online course tailored to their interests. A Kid's Guide to Bodies and Babies (Online) by Amazing.me is an interactive course about our bodies, how babies are made and more. Purchase the course for only AUD $59.
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The holiday season is a magical time for little ones, and what better way to celebrate than with enchanting gift baskets specially crafted for pre-schoolers?
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Check out Paper Doll 3x Bundle â Families, Friends, & Super Heroes (Printable) by Sexed Rescue. Your favorite childhood paper dolls just got a modern makeover! Featuring people with all anatomies and families in all flavors, the Paper Doll books help your child see the worldâs diversity. |
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This bundle features all 3 of our beloved paper doll books for hours of happy play. Each book contains a collection of naked bodies with traditionally male, female, and âdraw your ownâ anatomy. Itâs a gentle introduction to the idea that our bodies are similar, but also different.
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Introduce a shame-buster huggable friend into their world with My Little Yoni doll. These dolls, with their gentle designs and comforting textures, provide a sense of security and companionship for your little one. Choose a yoni doll that's appropriate for their age and embraces diversity and inclusivity.
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Dive into the world of GeekDad with a stylish and comfortable piece of apparel that proudly displays the geeky spirit. Whether it's a witty graphic tee, a cozy hoodie, or a sleek cap, let Dad wear his love for all things geek with pride.
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This holiday season, deepen the bonds within your family with a gift basket designed to spark meaningful conversations and foster understanding. The Yoni Magic 10 book series, covering a diverse range of topics such as consent, periods, self-pleasure, healthy relationships, LGBTQ+, and gender identity, provides an opportunity for families to explore and learn together. Let's unwrap a basket filled with knowledge, love, and connection.
A book about female anatomyÂ
A book about male anatomyÂ
A book that teaches the importance of consent.Â
Explains masturbation in a way that helps educate girls and keep them safe.Â
Explains the building blocks of what creates a baby and how the two parts come together.Â
A book about the LGBTQ+ community and sexual orientation.Â
A book about gender identity and assigned sex.Â
A book about sex and why itâs something some adults choose to do.Â
A book about the powerful process of menstruation.Â
AÂ book about pregnancy and emotionally preparing for becoming an older sibling.
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This holiday season, share the love and joy with a collection of thoughtful gift baskets designed for every member of the family. From kids' excitement to moms' relaxation and dads' geeky fun, these baskets celebrate the unique qualities of each family member while fostering togetherness and creating cherished memories. Wishing your family a holiday season filled with love, laughter, and shared moments! đđđ¨âđŠâđ§âđŚ
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]]>As the air turns crisp and the aroma of roasting holiday feasts fill the air, the opportunity to build meaningful relationships and connections is available in addition to feasting. In the digital age, where screens often mediate our interactions, use this Thanksgiving as a reminder of the importance of face-to-face connections, particularly in teaching young children about consent and body anatomy. This article delves into the significance of Thanksgiving as a catalyst for building bonds, bridging gaps, and strengthening the ties that bind us as a community.
In the midst of family gatherings and the joyous laughter of children, Thanksgiving offers an ideal setting for intentional parenting. Meeting new relatives, especially for young kids, presents an opportune moment to educate them about consent and body anatomy. Parents can model and teach consent by encouraging children to express their preferences in hugs, kisses, or physical contact. Emphasize to your kid that consent is clear and communicated with words. Before touching anyone, they need to learn to ask permission, and if someone says no or is silent, then it is not okay to touch them.
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This also means that they should speak up if someone touches them without permission. Explaining consent in a way thatâs easy for them to understand will help solidify these concepts. Check out this article, explaining consent for kids. |
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In an era dominated by social media, the concept of connection has taken on a new digital guise. Online platforms offer glimpses into the lives of friends and family, yet the authenticity of these connections often falls short.Â
Thanksgiving serves as a reminder that the warmth of in-person gatherings is unparalleled in creating meaningful relationships. In a world where social media can sometimes amplify feelings of separation, face-to-face conversations allow for authentic interactions that transcend the curated nature of online personas.
Thanksgiving is not just a family affair; it extends to our larger community. The bonds we build within our neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces contribute to the strength of our collective fabric. Actively participating in community events, volunteering, and engaging with our neighbors fosters a sense of unity and shared purpose. Strengthening these connections ensures that we are not just isolated individuals but integral parts of a resilient and supportive community.
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In a digital age, the risk of feeling isolated is heightened. Thanksgiving encourages us to combat this isolation by taking our interactions offline. Whether it's hosting a neighborhood potluck, organizing a community event, or reaching out to friends for a gathering, the key is to prioritize real-world connections. Breaking away from the screens allows for genuine conversations, shared laughter, and the creation of lasting memories that social media cannot replicate. |
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Thanksgiving Holiday 2023 is not just a time for indulging in delicious meals; it's a unique opportunity to nurture relationships, educate young minds about consent, and emphasize the importance of in-person connections. As we gather with family and friends, let's use this occasion to bridge the gap between the virtual and real worlds, combat isolation, and actively contribute to the strength of our communities. By doing so, we uphold the true spirit of Thanksgiving â a celebration of genuine connections that make us not only stronger as families but also as an interconnected and resilient community.
]]>Puberty often begins earlier than parents thinkâespecially for girls. You can help your daughter navigate this time by learning about these changes and starting conversations about them early. In this article, we discuss, âWhat is puberty for girlsâ and how you can support them during this crucial phase of their life.
Puberty is the time when kids grow into young adults through physical and emotional changes. It can start when kids are as young as 8 or 9 but you wonât see any physical signs until a few years later. For females, you can usually expect to start seeing physical changes when they are aged between 10 and 13. Everyone experiences puberty differently, which means that some kids may be the first in their group of friends to change⌠or the last. But eventually, everyone catches up, and the differences even out.
It's also important to remember that everybody goes through these changes. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to look. We are all unique, inside and out.
The earliest sign of puberty in most girls is the development of breast "buds," nickel-sized bumps under the nipple. It is not unusual for breast growth to start on one side before the other. It's also common for breast buds to be somewhat tender or sore. Uneven breast growth and soreness are both totally normal and usually evens out with time.
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Body HairCoarser hair will begin to grow in the genital area, under the arms, and on the legs. In some girls (about 15%), pubic hair may be the first sign of pubertyâshowing up before breast budding starts. |
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A word about shaving
Around the time girls reach middle school, many will begin to show interest in shaving their legs and armpits. This is a personal choice; there is no medical reason to shave armpit or leg hair. If she decides to groom her pubic hair, make sure she does it safely and understands how to use the right tools. If she is requesting a full-blown âBrazilianâ or waxing of all vulva hair, itâs possible that she or friends of hers have been exposed to porn and are feeling pressured to meet the visual ideals represented in pornography. If you havenât already discussed online porn with your daughter, this might be an opportunity to begin the conversation. Check out our blog on the dangers of online porn for more info.
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 Our book âAll About Consentâ also offers important tips and empowering advice for your kids - both daughters and sons. |
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Before giving your daughter a razor, emphasize that body hair is natural and that in many cultures girls donât feel the need to shave. However, if she chooses to shave, show her how to use it properly to avoid skin irritation and cuts, which can become infected. Here are some tips:
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Wet the skin & use lotion or gel. Shaving dry skin can scratch and irritate it. It may be easiest to shave in the shower or bathtub when the skin is already wet. Shaving gel, lotion, or cream acts as a buffer on the skin and can help avoid cuts.
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Use light pressure. Pressing too hard on the razor could shave off some of the skin. Use extra care around the knees and ankles to avoid nicking the skin.
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Replace the razor or its blade often. A dull blade is more likely to tug, scrape, and irritate the skin.
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Don't share razors. Sharing a razor can spread bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus and cause skin infections.
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Electric razors. Some electric razors are designed specifically for girls. These may be less likely to cut the skin, although they can still cause irritation.
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Some girls experience a small to moderate amount of clear or white vaginal discharge that starts about 6-12 months before their first period. This is a normal response to growing amounts of the hormone estrogen in the body.Â
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While timelines can vary, most girls get their first period within two to three years after the development of breast buds. The average age for girls to get their first period in the United States is around age 12. It's important to emphasize that periods are a normal part of growing up. Young girls should know that it's okay to talk about periods and ask questions about them. Some young people may have anxiety about how to handle their first period, given that it can happen unexpectedly. Providing supplies (pads, tampons, and pantiliners) for your child's locker or backpack and reviewing resources at school, including the school nurse, can help alleviate this worry. Our partner, Period.org is a wonderful resource for youth who cannot afford period supplies.
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NOTE: In providing period kit supplies, encourage your daughter to find the product that suits her best. Also, remind her to change her period products regularly to stay comfortable and prevent any odor. Using mild soap and water to clean the genital area (only water, no soap!!)Â during her periods is also a good practice.
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While some girls will have bright red blood with their first period, other girls may only have spotting with red-brown dischargeâboth are normal! While some people will have periods once a month, periods may be irregular in the first few years as the body adapts to rapid physiological changes. Also, normal cycles of periods can be as short as 21 days or as long as 35⌠so even people with regular cycles might not have a period every single month!
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Abdominal cramping or pain with periods is also common. For most people, ibuprofen or naproxen used as needed are the best medicines to help with period cramps. If menstrual cramps are severe or cause your child to miss school, talk to your pediatrician about other options.
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Check out our Yoni Magic Book, The Power of Periods! For Ages 9+. Every girl, boy, and parent should learn about the POWER OF PERIODS! This lovely book covers an important overview of the menstrual cycle, making it both accurate and fun. This book shows girls the power their bodies hold and why they should be proud of their period. |
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Most girls have their growth spurt at a younger age than boys do. The fastest rate of height growth usually occurs in girls between when breast buds start to develop and about 6 months before they get their period. Once a girl has had her first period, her growth has already started to slow down. Most girls grow another 1-2 inches after getting their period, but increased height beyond that is less common.
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Her hips may get wider and her waist may get smaller. This is tied to fertility and the body becoming more suited to carry pregnancies and deliver babies. Of course with a foundation of comprehension sex education, your daughter will be many years away from considering the very serious consequences of having children and partner sex.Â
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Many young people develop acne during puberty. This can be related to changes in hormone levels during this time. Sweating under the armpits and increased body odor are also normal changesâand why most girls begin using deodorants and/or antiperspirants at the start of puberty. With more oil and sweat being made by the skin, girls this age may start wanting to shower or shampoo their hair more often.
Finally, and most importantly, keep the lines of communication open. Let her know that she can always talk to you about any questions or concerns she has regarding puberty. Be a source of support and information as she navigates this significant phase in her life. If you donât have the answers, please utilize My Little Yoni as a resource. The main thing is to become an open, trusted source for your daughter.Â
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Remember, you've got this, and your daughter will appreciate your guidance and understanding more than you know. Puberty is just one step on the journey to adulthood, and you're both on this path together. đ
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]]>Itâs back to school time and kids across the country are preparing for a new year of science, language, and math classes. But thereâs another course that lays a healthy foundation for your childrenâs health and development that is usually missing out:Â comprehensive sex education.
Comprehensive sex ed is a crucial aspect of a well-rounded education, which equips students with accurate information, critical skills, and shame-free attitudes toward their own bodies and relationships. In this article, we will not just tackle the essential back-to-school list that you normally have but also the ones youâve likely missed out on for preschoolers, tweens, and even thoughtful items for moms.Â
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When children are 2-5 years old they are learning about what everything is, why wouldnât they also learn about their body and its anatomy? Children are very open to learning about anything. If you can be matter-of-fact, honest, and age-appropriate, children will be curious to learn more and open to healthy discussions. Here are some essentials that should not be missed by preschoolers.
Introduce Anatomically Correct Body Parts:
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1. Paper Doll 3x Bundle â Families, Friends, & Super Heroes (Printable)
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Your favorite childhood paper dolls just got a modern makeover! Featuring people with all anatomies and families in all flavors, our Paper Doll books help your child to see the worldâs diversity. This bundle features all 3 of our beloved paper doll books for hours of happy play. Each book contains a collection of naked bodies with traditionally male, female, and âdraw your ownâ anatomy. Itâs a gentle introduction to the idea that our bodies are similar, but also different. |
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2. Yoni Magic: The Amazing Truth
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Join My Little Yoni as she explains the natural wonder of female anatomy! As a superhero, she's here to help you bust vulva shame by telling you the facts. A wonderful resource for parents hoping to introduce the subject of sex education in a fun, shame-free way. For Ages 3+. |
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 3. Yoni Magic: The Spectacular Truth
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Order our new book, The Spectacular Truth. A companion book to Yoni Magic: The Amazing Truth, detailing assigned male anatomy. For Ages 3+. |
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Learning Body Positivity:
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5. I Love All of Me (Wonderful Me) - Board Book
Playful illustrations feature toddlers loving their bodies from âarms that squeezeâ to âbendy kneesâ and âtummy bumpâ to âwaggle rump.â I can imagine some of the clever descriptions like âkissy lipsâ and âdancing hipsâ becoming catchphrases after a few reads.
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6. Bodies Are Cool (Audiobook) WRITTEN & NARRATED BY: Tyler Feder
This body positivity book for preschoolers is a joyful listen.
From the way a body jiggles to the scars a body bears, this book is a pure celebration of all the different human bodies that exist in the world. Highlighting the various skin tones, body shapes, and hair types is just the beginning of this truly inclusive audiobook. With its exuberant refrain, this book will instill body positivity and confidence in the youngest of readers.
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Fun / Comforting Item:
 | 6. Make a statement everywhere you go with our My Little Yoni Bag charm! This versatile accessory for both kids and moms is more than just a key holder â it's a fashion statement! Crafted with premium materials and eye-catching details, our MLY Bag Charm effortlessly complements any bag, from totes to backpacks. |
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Tweens, typically aged between 8 and 12, are on the cusp of adolescence. Here are some essential lists tailored to their developmental stage.
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 1. The Dot Girl First Period KitÂŽ -Â
Everything a girl needs for her first period, including information and supplies all packed in a sturdy neoprene bag that may be used month after month to store supplies.
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2. Teena Â
A must-have product for girls that will help them period ready! Teena App is here to help by making period tracking accurate and educating you on whatâs going on inside the body in real time. |
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3. Girls First Period Information Printables | Tween Period Tracker | Girl's Period Guides
Our First Menstrual Cycle Printable offers clear and age-appropriate information about menstruation, including what to expect, how to manage menstrual hygiene, and tips for self-care.
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4. Being You: The Body Image Book for Boys
From early childhood boys often feel pressured to be athletic and muscular. But what impact does this have on physical and mental well-being through their teens and beyond? Worryingly, a third of teen boys are trying to âbulk upâ due to body dissatisfaction, and boys and men account for 25% of eating disorder cases.Â
What can we tell our boys to help them feel happy and confident by simply being themselves? Being You has the answers! Itâs an easy-to-read, evidence-based guide to developing a positive body image for boys aged 12+. |
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Workshop + Courses for Tweens and their Parents
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5. A Kid's Guide to Bodies and Babies (Online)
This interactive course is about our bodies, how babies are made, and more. It is ideal for both parents/carers to do together with their pre-teens but can also be completed by a child on their own. There are two separate courses for children aged 7-9 years or 9-12 years. Purchase the course for only AUD $59.
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6. Growing Into You!â˘: Puberty Workshop (Online)
We are excited to have your family join us for this fun way to learn about bodies and puberty!Â
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Note: You only need to purchase one ticket for your family, not a separate ticket for each family member that is joining. We do not provide refunds for registration fees. If your family is unable to attend after registering, please contact us to request a rescheduling to a future date. We accommodate one reschedule request at no additional cost.
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As the back-to-school season approaches, the focus often turns towards ensuring children are prepared for their academic journey. However, amidst the hustle and bustle, it's important not to overlook the needs of their moms.
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Enhanced Well-being:
Treat yourself to a small self-care item to unwind during your time away at school.
 | 1. Indulge in self-care, one sip at a time! Whatever the flavor of your geeky parenting, enjoy a beverage in a 14 oz GeekMom Mug, specially crafted for moms who deserve a moment of tranquility. Let the soothing warmth of your favorite brew embrace you, as you take a well-deserved break from the beautiful chaos of motherhood. |
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Sip, savor, and get lost in the world of fascinating stories, inspiring interviews, and endless knowledge.
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2. Good Moms Bad Choices ep. My Little Vagina Stuffed Animal Â
Together they discuss how early introductions to womenâs magic gateways can combat toxic masculinity and why conversations about womenâs anatomy can potentially change the way women view themselves and how boys and men view women and sex. Erica & Milah are our favorite podcast hosts and sex-positive moms, so subscribe to their entire series!Â
3. Book: A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices
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The creators of the beloved podcast Good Moms Bad Choices challenge outdated notions of what being a âgoodâ mother truly meansâinviting moms of all kinds to embark on a healing journey that unlearns old scripts about motherhood and shows that you can be a little bad and still do a lot of good for your kids and yourself. |
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Scheduled Self-Care Time:
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This impeccably crafted cream is formulated with Arnica Montana, which helps soothe sore muscles, bumps, and bruises. Comfrey calms tissue discomfort while helping to treat redness, irritation, itching, and swelling. Itâs formulated for the most sensitive, absorbent skin on the body and can be used from head to toe.
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5. Arouse Stimulating SerumThis three-in-one arousal serum invites natural lubrication, plumping and tingling to the labia. Arouse is formulated with plant aphrodisiacs like Maca, Damiana, and Spilanthes Acmella (Buzz Button) which help generate a tingling and warming sensation to stimulate arousal.
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Delegate and Seek Help:
It's a practical way to alleviate some of the stress and create space for self-care.
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6. The SOS Call
On those days when parenting finds you trembling in a corner⌠send an SOS to the parentâs emergency service.
We donât know why nobody has thought of it before. The SOS service is designed for parents who need to talk to a sexual health expert'
Founder of Sex Ed Rescue and multi-qualified nurse, sexual health therapist, and educator, Cath Hakinson is an expert on sexual health, birth, and relationships. Sheâs seen everything (twice). And sheâs here to help you navigate stormy weeks and months in your parenting journey, with a steady hand and a sensible outlook.
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As the back-to-school season unfolds, let's recognize the value of comprehensive sex education for preschoolers, tweens, and moms. By embracing age-appropriate discussions about bodies, relationships, consent, and reproductive health, we create a foundation of understanding, respect, and empowerment for all involved. By fostering open communication and informed decision-making, we equip preschoolers, tweens, and moms with the tools they need to navigate life's complexities with confidence, empathy, and a healthy sense of self.
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]]>In today's digital age, children are increasingly exposed to various online dangers, including the widespread availability of explicit adult content.Â
For young kids, under 8, accidentally encountering pornographic material can be confusing or distressing. At worst, it can be harmful.Â
Older kids and teenagers may be more curious and actively seek out pornography online. Even if kids are not seeking porn, often they come across it and are exposed to porn by age 12. For them, the risk is that exposure to graphic, violent, or misleading messages about sexual practices and gender stereotypes could give them the wrong idea about sex and intimate relationships.Â
As a parent or trusted adult, itâs important to equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to protect your children from these internet dangers.
This blog provides practical guidance and strategies to safeguard children from online porn and navigate the internet safely.
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Before you start the discussion with your children, consider what you might want them to think, learn and know about sexuality and intimacy. Think about whether the messages you give are about porn or about sex.Â
âIt should be possible to be sex-positive and Pornhub-negative.â
For younger children, under 8, If we want childrenâs understanding of sexuality to be connected to human intimacy, we must talk about how physical and emotional intimacy are related to each other,â said Deborah Roffman.
She suggested talking with your child about âcuddling and the amazing feelings it evokes â help them name feeling safe, loved and protected. That physical contact within the context of pornography is the opposite of that.â
It is also crucial to have parental controls in place on digital devices, to help protect kids from accidentally seeing something disturbing.
For kids in middle school, we should provide concrete metaphors to make the point that porn isnât an accurate portrayal of sex and certainly not of sexual intimacy.Â
We can say, âSometimes people look at porn because they want to learn about sex, but thatâs like watching âThe Fast and the Furiousâ to learn how to drive.â Then we watch the trailer for âThe Fast and the Furiousâ and discuss questions like, who was impacted by the driving? What were the consequences? What makes it entertaining to watch? How is it different from real life?
These conversations help kids understand that porn creates highly dramatized, even caricatured images of sex, just as the film does with driving, and that real-life experiences may look very different.
Establish a safe and non-judgmental space where your child feels comfortable discussing their online experiences. Explain the risks and potential consequences of encountering explicit content without using fear tactics.
Remember: It does not end with the big "sex talk" but rather, it's a continuous conversation about internet danger (online porn) & sexuality, whereas a parent can continue elaborating and introducing concepts as they grow older.
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We all know how hard it is to talk to your kids about sex, often because parents havenât been equipped with the most accurate information themselves. With the help of OBGYN, sex educator, and licensed psychologist partners, weâve put together Yoni Magic, a 10 Sex Ed book series to put empowering education directly into parentsâ hands. This series includes a variety of topics from natural wonders of female and male anatomy to gender identity and diversity that were written and illustrated in a shame-free free format. Â
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Set clear boundaries for the type of content your child can access online. Utilize parental control software, browser filters, and other tools should be deployed to ensure kids donât stumble over internet danger such as sexual content. Most of this is relatively simple, such as enabling Googleâs SafeSearch function and turning on apps and operating-system-level controls on phones.Â
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Encourage them to engage in productive and educational online activities, such as supervised research or age-appropriate games.
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Empower children with digital literacy skills to help them understand the potential risks online. Teach them to question the credibility of sources, recognize clickbait, and be cautious about sharing personal information. Encourage critical thinking by discussing the manipulative techniques used by advertisers and predators online.
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Maintain an active presence in your child's online life by supervising their activities. Place computers and devices in shared family spaces, making it easier to monitor their browsing habits. Regularly check their browsing history, social media profiles, and online friends.Â
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Remember:Â Balance supervision with trust and privacy as children grow older.
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Create a set of internet rules and boundaries that align with your family values. Set limits on screen time, establish device-free zones (e.g., bedrooms during bedtime), and encourage offline activities. Regularly revisit and update these rules as your child grows and gains more independence.
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Teach your child the importance of reporting any uncomfortable or inappropriate online encounters. Assure them that they can confide in you without fear of punishment. Make them aware of trusted adults they can turn to, such as teachers, counselors, or helpline services.
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Children learn by observing their parents and trusted adults. Be a positive digital role model by practicing responsible internet use yourself. Show them how to engage in meaningful online interactions, respect others' privacy, and avoid sharing explicit content or engaging in cyberbullying. |
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Protecting children from online porn and other internet dangers requires a multi-faceted approach that combines open communication, education, supervision, and the establishment of boundaries. By fostering a safe and supportive digital environment, parents, caregivers, and trusted adults can empower children to make informed choices and navigate the online world responsibly. Remember, the key is to remain engaged, stay informed about the latest digital trends, and adapt your strategies as technology continues to evolve.Â
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Together, we can help our children thrive in the digital age while staying protected from harmful online influences.
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Your superhero,
My Little Yoniđ
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]]>We hope you have already dusted off your rainbow flags and are celebrating pride month!  MLY proudly supports this month-long celebration to recognize and support LGBTQ rights and honor the culture and history of the LGBTQ community. There are a lot of ways for you to get involved and learn some important history along the way - pride parades, live theater, workshops, concerts, making donations, buying our Loving LGBTQ+ book, and more!
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On the night of June 1969 in New York City, police raided the Stonewall Inn - a gay club in Greenwich Village. The patrons of the bars fought back, starting the riots at Stonewall Inn which lasted for days. One of the leaders of the riots was a black, trans, bisexual woman, Marsha P. Johnson. Sylvia Rivera and StormĂŠ DeLarverie, gay rights activists and drag performers, also played part in the Stonewall Riots. The group of protestors demanded safe places for LGBTQ people where they could go and be open about their sexual orientation without fear of arrest.Â
Pride Month was started by bisexual activist Brenda Howard, The Mother of Pride. A year after the Stonewall Riots, she organized Gay Pride March, or what we now know as the New York City Pride March. She was the catalyst behind similar parades and marches around the globe.
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In 1978, Influential gay politician Harvey Milk asked a designer friend, Gilbert Baker, to design a symbol of pride for the gay community. The Original PRIDE flag was composed of eight horizontal lines: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, hot pink, and turquoise. But after the assassination of Harvey Milk on November 27, 1978, the demand for the rainbow flag greatly increased. From the late â70s to early 2000, the six-color rainbow flag was adopted by queer culture and was used to denote LGBTQIA+ pride.
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Through the years, there have been many variations on the flag. Last year the flag was altered to show support for the Black Lives Matter movement. Color black to represent diversity, brown to represent inclusivity, and light blue and pink, the colors of the trans pride flag were included. The design of Daniel Quasarâs Progress Pride Flag incorporates elements from both the Philadelphia flag and trans pride flag to bring focus on inclusion and progress within the community.
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We at MLY are here to support and LOVE everyone in every way. And as part of the celebration, we have interviewed our founder Ariel Saint White to talk about her experience being identified as LGBTQ since she was young.
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Whatâs your favorite part of PRIDE?
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The best part of LGBTQ is celebrating love and sexuality in all its different shades of beauty.
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What is your PRIDE Story?
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Iâve always identified as LGBTQ and most people wouldnât assume this about me. I don't care much about labels one way or the other, but if anyone ever asked, they would know I'm queer.
I remember my first two major celebrity crushes when I was a little girl around 4 or 5: Atrayu from The Neverending Story, a boy close to my age, and Kelly LeBrock from Weird Science, an incarnation of the Goddess.
Even though I am a very feminine-looking woman, married to a man, Iâve always felt fluid in my sexuality, falling in love with the person more than anything else.
I think it is the spirit that makes someone beautiful. To me, gender and genitalia are not important.
In many indigenous cultures, there were those in the tribe called âTwo Spirits.â Two Spirits were both man and woman, feminine and masculine, and oftentimes they were shamans, teachers, and artists. Think of David Bowie and Prince; epic artists that embody both masculine and feminine aspects.
I relate to this idea of being a Two-Spirit even though to the outside world I look like a feminine woman. I feel equally connected to both masculine and feminine energies.
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What words do you want to share with our community this PRIDE Month?
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I want to take a moment as the founder of MLY to say that we celebrate diversity in all of its forms and flavors. We are inspired and encouraged by younger generations who are tending to explore their identity beyond the constraints and boxes of clearly defined sexuality or gender. It is beautiful when people can be fully themselves, whatever that looks like along the spectrum of expression.
While extreme control is increasing in certain parts of the world, we are still hopeful for the change ahead and celebrate the choices that consenting adults make for themselves.
At the end of the day, LOVE is the most powerful energy in the world and we will always choose love over fear.
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Why My Little Yoni LOVE PRIDE Month?
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Pride Month is for everyone to celebrate their unique identity and show the world who they are. The pride flag signifies the colorful activities of this month-long celebration.Â
My Little Yoni takes pride in celebrating this event. It allows us to meet open-minded people and learn about sexual diversity. Now, grab your rainbow flag, wear on your colorful shirt, and letâs join the fun! Letâs celebrate love, and acceptance and be an ally to your LGBTQ+ community.
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Here are some ways to celebrate PRIDE Month:Â
Pride is for Everyone. Happy Pride month! đ
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If you want to learn about the LGBTQ+ community and sexual identity, Yoni Magic: Loving LGBTQ+ is a great resource to teach your kids about the complexity of sexuality in an easily digestible way.
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How well do you know PRIDE? |
Weâve talked to hundreds of moms, and we know how difficult it can be to practice sex positive parenting. It can be uncomfortable to talk to our children about things deemed to be awkward, taboo, or that we didnât have the experience of discussing openly in our own childhood.
Some parents feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality with their kids, either because of their own hang-ups or because they worry that it might encourage their children to become sexually active at a young age. Itâs normal to want to protect your kidâs innocence for as long as possible, and âsex talksâ might sometimes seem like a threat to that. However, research shows that children who receive early sex education have better boundaries and engage in sexual activity later than peers who receive no such education.
In this blog, we invite you to open your mind, put aside any reservations that you might have, and get comfortable with the idea of discussing sex with your kids. Here are three crucial sex-positive parenting lessons to keep in mind.
One of the most important things you can do as a sex-positive parent is to communicate openly and honestly with your children about sex and sexuality. This can be difficult for many parents, particularly if they grew up in a culture where sex was seen as taboo or shameful. However, by making a conscious effort to start "the Talk" with your children, you can help them feel comfortable and confident when it comes to their own bodies and desires.
This "talk" should begin as early as possible. It often begins with anatomy lessons during toddler years and learning about consent at early childhood age. Once your child reaches the next childhood stage, certain topics are added according to their age and level of development.Â
You may find that your child has questions you simply arenât prepared forâthatâs fine, normal, and nothing to worry about. You canât be a fountain of knowledge on every subject, and you should use professional resources to your advantage if you are coming up short.Â
Itâs better to seek out accurate answers and ask if you donât know. Itâs okay to say âI donât know the answer to that, but Iâm going to find out and get back to you.â This is a behavior we should try and model for our children, especially when it comes to important topics like "sex".Â
Thankfully, weâve put together Yoni Magic, a 10 Sex Ed book series to put empowering education directly into parentsâ hands. This series includes a variety of topics from natural wonders of female and male anatomy to gender identity and diversity that were written and illustrated in a shame-free format.Â
These are essential conversations to have. But, these are topics that parents may struggle to broach with their kids. Trust me, though, they will be better for it if you have an open and honest dialogue about these topics!
This is probably one of the first conversations many parents will have with children when it comes to sex. It often comes up with younger children when they find out that new siblings are on the way or when they just get curious about âwhere do babies come from?âÂ
Itâs important to keep the language simple (eggs, sperm, etc.), factual (no stork!), and age-appropriate. The conservation will grow as they do. Of course, there is more to sex than making babies and eventually, they will learn this too. Â
Kids develop at different rates, so a good rule of thumb is to let your child steer the conversation. If they ask questions, answer honestly. If they ask follow-up questions, continue answering honestly until they seem satisfied or âfullâ of information. You donât want to confuse them with myths and lies, but you also donât want to overload them with too much information. Generally, when kids have enough info, they stop asking questions and move on to a new topic or activity. Â
 Learn more on this article: Dear My Little Yoni: How do I Explain where Babies come from? |
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Consent requires all people involved to agree to participate in an activity together. Tell your kids consent is clear and communicated with words. Before touching anyone, they need to learn to ask permission, and if someone says no or is silent, then it is not okay to touch them.Â
This also means that they should speak up if someone touches them without permission. Explaining consent in a way thatâs easy for them to understand will help solidify these concepts. Check out this article, explaining consent for kids. |
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Remember: This isnât a one-time conversation, but a conversation you will continue to have and reinforce over the coming weeks, months, and years.
Finally, as a sex-positive parent, it's important to challenge gender stereotypes and help your children develop a broad, inclusive understanding of sexuality.Â
Gender stereotypes teach children to learn about what is ânormalâ for boys and girls. Gender stereotypes put pressure on children to conform and fit into these assumptions. This means they are limited from doing things they might enjoy because they are perceived as âgirlyâ or âboyishâ. This affects childrenâs choices for toys, subjects at school, and careers.
Girlguiding Scotland's recent report found that 62% of girls want to be a leader in their job, but 45% thought this would be harder because they are a girl. Research shows that gender stereotypes perpetuate inequality. And we know that gender inequality leads to violence against women.
Instead of talking about the negatives of gender stereotypes, you can talk about the positives of gender-friendly play. It is about letting children explore, express themselves and play without limits! It is fun and builds confidence, and children enjoy it!
By doing so, you can help your children feel empowered to explore their own desires and identities, without feeling limited by outdated stereotypes or societal expectations.
Remember: The most important thing to do when it comes to this sensitive discussion is to let your child lead the discussion. By positioning your child as the commander of the conversation, you can let them lead the way, so they can set healthy boundaries in terms of what theyâre willing to talk to you about. This can help to ease the awkwardness and help them to feel more in control of the discussion, which may make them more receptive to what you have to say.
And thatâs what you want when youâre being a sex-positive parent.
]]>Itâs the big elephant in the room of parenting topics: child sexual exploitation and abuse. The worst form of violence against children, itâs no surprise parents have difficulty addressing it. The statistics are so horrifying, we donât want to believe them.
Most abuse gets carried out either by family members or people whom children or families know.Â
So what exactly can parents do to protect their children?
As an essential safeguard to your child in your family and your community, here is the advice experts offer:
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Talking to your kids about their body, anatomy and sex can be daunting. However, children at a very young age have curious minds and are questioned about what they see around them.
Start when kids are young enough to name their body parts and teach them proper anatomical terms.
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When naming the genitals for kids with a biologically male body, we use the terms penis and testicles or scrotum. Technically, the testicles are the inside part (they feel like a peeled boiled egg), and the scrotum is the skin or sac on the outside that holds them. Learn more by reading our book "Yoni Magic: The Spectacular Truth" (Ages 3-5+). |
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When naming the genitals for kids with a female body, we use the terms vulva and vagina. Ideally, we should start off talking about the vulva as the outer part, and the vagina as the inside part. If you want to transform an uncomfortable topic into a world of superheroes and vulva pride, "Yoni Magic: The Amazing Truth" will be your practical and fun guide. (Ages 3-5+). |
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 When kids are younger, start with questions like, âWhat terms are we going to use?â and âWho gets to see who undressed?â As kids age, the questions change accordingly.
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Use as many teachable moments as you can find.Â
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If your child wants to be in a bedroom by themselves, explain it as a matter of privacy versus secrecy, saying: âPrivacy means you get to do it by yourself but mommy and daddy know about it. Secrecy means that we donât know about it, and our family doesnât do secrecy. Our job is to keep you safe and secrecy is not ok."
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Arousal might be one of the crucial physiological responses related to sexual abuse that your kids need to know about. Explain why touching certain parts of their body might feel good and who is allowed to touch these parts. (The answer: No one but themselves can touch their mouth, their chest, and their private parts.) And no one can touch any part of their body without their consent, including hugs.
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Arousal refers to the physiological and psychological changes that occur in response to sexual stimuli. But, one of the things that make kids so vulnerable to being exploited is when you have a skilled molester, they go out of their way to make sure their victims experience arousal, which feels good. And when kids equate arousal with love, they are sitting ducks for bad guys.
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Ultimately, kids need to know from an early age that they have agency over their bodies. That means parents should never insist that kids kiss or hug people, whether itâs an aunt or uncle at Thanksgiving or the charming babysitter.
My Little Yoni has devoted an entire book to this important topic. Check out our book for girls, Yoni Magic: What's the 'M' Word? (ages 5-8+). xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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If you feel like you âmissed the boatâ continuing to talk to teens about sex, it's not too late.
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Nearly 40 percent of kids are abused by older children. Child sexual abuse has grown from 40 to 50 percent in the last 10 years, according to research by Darkness to Light. (The younger child in this scenario is in the 10-year-old age range.)
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Many of these incidents are related to pornographic content online. Kids are getting access to pornographic [online] content more than ever. Without sex education, or safe, trustable adults to talk to, they donât know how to react to the content theyâve seen. They might test out what theyâve seen with a younger, accessible child. A cycle of trauma begins that could be prevented with regular, earlier conversations and teaching our children proper consent, boundaries, anatomy and encouraging them to have honest conversations with the trusted adults in their lives.
As much as weâd like to put our kids in a bubble, and pretend they wonât be exposed to explicit content, itâs not possible.
As parents, it is our responsibility to provide honest and correct answers to our kids because giving them false information will keep them unsafe and ignorant. But, more importantly, youâre opening the door for open conversations or questions that they may have about their bodies and sexuality as they grow up.Â
Each conversation is an opportunity to build trust between you and your kid, to establish you as a trustable adult that they can come to for support.
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We have grown up with âstranger dangerâ being forced down our throats, referring to the idea that kids should avoid strangers to be safe from predatory activity.
The reality: 90 percent of people who are abused are abused by people who they know and trust.
People who abuse children look and act just like everyone else. They go out of their way to appear trustworthy and seek out settings where they can gain easy access to children.
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If your kid, or any kid you know, comes to you with a potential disclosure of being a sex abuse victim, there is only one thing to say: âI believe you.â
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Those three words alone start a conversation off the right way. Donât interrogate them. There are professionals who know how to properly ask questions and gather an accurate story. Making a child relive that trauma is not helpful to you and especially not good for the child.
A response should be all about thanking a child for being brave enough to tell you about their experience and making them feel safe and heard. The amount of courage it takes to break silence and speak up is heroic and the first step to healing.Â
Thank you for learning more about an extremely difficult topic and taking the steps to prevent abuse and break the cycles of silence and shame that perpetuate it. All children deserve respect, protection and safety.
]]>I recently asked my second-grade son about crushes in his class. He told me about a few of his classmate crushes, including his own, and he also made it clear that there were some he couldnât tell me about because he had been sworn to secrecy. I respected his secrets and didnât push any harder.
Although he seemed happy and at ease throughout our conversation, I wondered if I was asking too many questions. Was I crossing any boundaries or invading the private space of childhood crushes?
-Lavette"
Dear Lavette,
I feel you and all the curious grown-ups out there! The experts say No. You're not invading the private space of your son's childhood crushes. Crushes are important, long-ignored milestones in the relational life of preadolescent children that parents and caregivers should respectfully discuss and unpack with them.
These early infatuations help children explore romantic feelings before they are ready for romantic relationships. Through them, they learn to cope with some of the more challenging parts of being attracted to another.
Experts say that kids commonly have their first crush when they're 5 or 6. "Younger children focus their love on their family," explains Cynthia Langtiw, Psy.D., assistant professor at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.Â
But, as kids enter kindergarten or first grade, they feel affection for their classmates too because they're spending more time in school and activities outside their families.
Many psychologists regard crushes as a milestone in the developmental years; that's because they teach kids about attraction, privacy, and more.
A crush is in its category of relationships, separate from friendship or dating. Sometimes crushes are for people we know, and other times they are for fictional characters. Often, even if we know the object of our desire, the crush makes us idealize them, and itâs often the idealized version of that person we canât get out of our head, rather than the living, breathing, flawed person.
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The experience of having a crush can begin as early as preschool, and crushes can continue to occur throughout oneâs life. Usually, these crushes are one-way, though sometimes they are reciprocated.Â
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âThese kids have emerging romantic ideas and emerging romantic feelings but are not ready to translate them into romantic behaviors or relationships,â said Julie Bowker, associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo in New York, adding that crushes generally arenât sexual or about dating in elementary school.
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Emerging, however, doesnât mean lacking in intensity. The feelings are real, and kids can use their parentsâ help in understanding them and learning what to do with them. It begins with parents taking their kidsâ feelings seriously.
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âThere is a strong emotional component there, and for some kids, it is hard to know what to do with those strong emotions,â said Catherine Bagwell, professor of psychology at Oxford College of Emory University in Georgia.
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Some parents avoid talking about crushes altogether, while others are tempted to squeeze out every last detail.Â
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The best tactic: Don't push, but start with general questions and follow your child's lead. For instance, if your son says he has a girlfriend, ask what that means to him. His response may range from, "She's my best friend" to "We got married during recess."
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How can you find out what's going on if they don't bring up the topic?Â
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You might say, 'I noticed that you've been hanging out with Thea lately. Do you feel different when you're around her?"Â Try not to chuckle at what your child says or dismiss their feelings. You want them to feel comfortable opening up to you!
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Check Out our book, âAll About Consent.â This book teaches young kids about the importance of consent, communication, and boundaries in everyday life and intimate relationships. For ages 7+.
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Suppose your child likes someone in their class. After you explore what they're going through, ask whether they think their crush feels the same about them.Â
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If the answer is no, explain that it's important to respect the other person's feelings. You can say something like, "I know you like Thea, but you shouldn't try to make her like you, because she might feel uncomfortable and that's not how real friends treat each other."Â
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By the same token, if a person has a crush on your child but they don't share the feelings, let your child know that it's OK not to want to be their girlfriend or boyfriend.
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While childhood crushes rarely amount to more than writing notes or hanging out at recess, some kids may want to hold hands or kiss on the cheek. Experts generally agree that these physical behaviors have nothing to do with sexuality at this age.Â
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Kids are just starting on a path of putting together the ideas of love, physical feelings, and connection. But, it's a smart idea to talk about boundaries. "You can tell your child that it's OK to play together at school but not to kiss."Â
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Healing hurt feelings.Early infatuations usually don't last longâand most kids get over them quickly. However, your child may be hurt if a classmate/friend doesn't like them back. Ask your child how they feel about it. Then, point out all their great qualities and the other friends they have. It's also helpful to mention some of your experiences from childhood, so your child realizes that what they're going through is perfectly normal. |
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Let your child explore their feelings by themselves and be there to guide them and support them in their decisions along the way. You got this!
]]>As we enter 2023 with intentions around health, let's not forget the 13,000 women diagnosed with cervical cancer each year in the United States. Nearly 80 million Americans â roughly half of whom are women â are infected with HPV, the virus that causes cervical cancer. This disease, although deadly in its later stages, is highly preventable and treatable.
January has been declared the official National Cervical Health Awareness Month by the United States Congress to increase the understanding of the disease, and its prevalence and to help women adopt certain practices to keep themselves safe.
In this article, weâll cover cervical health to share knowledge about the disease and provide tips on how you can help yourself, your daughter, or the women around you.
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Cervical cancer is a type of cancer that occurs in the cervix (the part of the uterus that connects to the vagina). The main cause of cervical cancer is sexual activity that transmits HPV (human papillomavirus).
Typically, female bodies are equipped with immune systems that respond to HPV and prevent it from causing any harm. However, in a small percentage of people, HPV survives for years and causes cervical cells to change their DNA mutation and become cancer cells that can invade the nearby tissues and organs.
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There are rarely any symptoms or signs displayed when cervical cancer is in its early stages. This is the reason why you must keep getting regular screening and tests (more on this later).
However, in advanced stages, cervical cancer shows the following symptoms:
Screening is very much a personal choice, and itâs crucial that women feel fully informed and comfortable with making the decision. However, getting regular screenings is a vital part of your health. Doctors recommend a yearly checkup to focus on the female reproductive system, starting between ages 13-15.Â
These visits, known as "well-woman visits", can catch small issues before they become big problems. These screenings help your doctor get a baseline for you so they can monitor your reproductive health over time.Â
For many teen girls, going to their first gynaecology appointment can seem a little scary or embarrassing. As her mom (or dad/aunt/friend), You can ease her nerves by telling her what to expect in a well-woman visit. Explain to your teen why the visit is needed, and what she can expect, and talk about any questions or fears she might have.
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Remember: Before you tell her all about your first experience, make sure youâre up to date with the current recommendations. Chances are, her first appointment will be different than yours!
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Start by discussing that a well-woman visit provides two things: information and treatment.
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During her visit, she can get accurate information and confidential answers to her questions about sex, sexuality, puberty, self-pleasure, sexual risks, and periods. Her doctor can diagnose and treat problems, such as missed periods, and pelvic or stomach pain. Her doctor will answer any questions she has, to ensure she leaves the appointment feeling comfortable and confident.Â
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NOTE: Be careful if her doctor recommends hormonal treatments such as birth control from a young age. Mounting evidence suggests that early hormonal treatment such as birth control can be linked to a whole host of problems later in life!Â
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For some girls, the first OBGYN visit can be as simple as a talk with the doctor.Â
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For others, their doctor may do a physical exam, including examining the vulva and breasts. Reassure your daughter that the physical exam doesnât take long and is a quick check to track your daughterâs development. Talking about these things before the doctor's visit helps your daughter feel prepared and at ease. Â
The first visit is typically 20-30 minutes long. It is an important time for her to get to know her provider.
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During the exam, a couple of different things happen. They'll talk about her:
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During the first OBGYN appointment, the physical exam will cover:
If your teen needs further physical examination, the reasons and methods used will be explained to her. Sheâll have a chance to ask her OBGYN any questions at this point. She can also request to have another person in the exam room with her.
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The physical exam MIGHT also include:
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Before age 21, a pelvic exam is typically only performed if she has heavy bleeding or pelvic pain.Â
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This Cervical Health Awareness Month, we should ALL take the time to reinforce the importance of regular screenings to the ones we love. Having annual screenings allows medical professionals to catch small things before they get bigger and ensure your vulva is healthy over the years.
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Keep your Yoni happy and healthy Yoni Gang! Â
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]]>Many parents wouldnât think twice about changing their clothes in front of their baby or toddler. But is it still appropriate as kids get older? At that point, the question of whether itâs OK for kids to see parents naked at home can be a delicate one.
Parents often find themselves asking this very question, so we thought of compiling expert advice on this matter.
Dr. Carnigee Truesdale-Howard, a board-certified pediatric psychologist with Beaumont Childrenâs in Royal Oak, says the answer could be different for each family based on their personal beliefs and habits.
âThe short answer to the question is that it is going to kind of depend on the parent,â she says.
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Body Confidence
You canât expect your child to learn about body image and body confidence in school. When you walk around with confidence in your skin, and its flaws, you make your child more confident in their skin and accepting of their body for what it is. Contrarily, when parents see nudity as something to be ashamed of, their kids adopt the same view and can grow up with body image issues. Additionally, when you are open to nudity, your child will find it easier to open up to you whenever they have questions about their body.
Cleaning Up Your Child's Perception and Expectations.
When your child sees you naked, it satisfies their curiosity. It demystifies the adult human body. Whether you hide your nudity or not, your kids will see naked people (especially naked women,) in the media. This in and of itself isnât bad.
The bad thing is that the nude women we see in the media are typically nothing short of âperfect.â All kids â boys and girls need to understand that bodies are not meant to be âperfect.â Especially with extra pressure placed on women, itâs good for sons to understand that the women they meet are not meant to be perfect. Beauty is much deeper than skin level, and sometimes it's our flaws that create the unique something more beautiful, and certainly more interesting, than homogenous social media filters. Your daughter also needs to understand that real women have imperfect bodies and that loving herself and feeling good in her skin is the most important thing. The same things for sons or non-binary youth â everyone deserves to feel good inside their body and be loved for who they are, right now.
Learning That Nudity Is Not Sexuality
Exposing your child to non-sexualized nudity will also bring to their attention that getting naked does not always have to end in sex. This is particularly useful for males who might have an obsessive urge for sex, especially in adolescence. Bodies are bodies, and naked bodies are just normal and natural. They do not need to be automatically sexualized. Also, if your daughter grows up to be a mother, this kind of comfort will nudity will help her know she should never feel embarrassed about breastfeeding in public. The female body is not a sexual object.Â
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What age nudity should stop inside the home is debatable. Limited research is available on the topic, so parents should use their comfort and their childâs comfort level to guide them.
âThereâs no magical ageâ when it stops being OK for kids to see parents naked. The best bet is to follow your kids' cues.
Children as young as 3 and 4 can begin wanting privacy in the bathroom or when getting undressed, and parents might consider this a sign that the child isnât comfortable with parental nudity either.
âKids will kind of let you know. You can follow their lead,â Truesdale-Howard says. âAt the end of the day, itâs going to depend on what your child is communicating to you and what they feel comfortable with. Youâll know because they might become silly or show that theyâre embarrassed.â
Even parents who make it a point to be open with nudity can find that their children donât feel the same, âYou could be a nudist family and still have a kid thatâs strongly against it,â Truesdale-Howard says.
Privacy and kids can take some extra navigation in these circumstances.
Families might consider setting household boundaries around nudity â like only changing in private, for example, or explaining that nudity is OK at home but not in public. For daughters, it might be nice to mention that in some USA cities, and many countries, such as France, itâs perfectly normal for women to go topless, as well as men, especially at places like the beach. Itâs unfortunate that in the USA there is so much stigma around breasts, but hopefully, in time, women can have the same comfort and top-free freedom as men. The bottom line is she should not feel any shame around her body.Â
âYou want to strike a balance between adhering to whatever your family values are and what you do in your household but also preparing your child for the culture they live in,â she says.
If you do let your child see you naked, or if it happens by accident, be prepared for any body-related questions that might come up. The best you can do is maintain a matter-of-fact tone as you explain the anatomy behind your body.Â
If you notice your child starting to develop body shame, you can gently remind them that their body is beautiful and totally normal. You can ask if anyoneâs said anything at school to make them feel uncomfortable. Since we live in a fairly body-negative society, itâs common for kids to become embarrassed by nudity at a certain point. You can respect this shift while at the same time reminding them that being naked is natural and nothing to be ashamed of and that they should never listen to anything or anyone that makes them feel embarrassed for who they are.
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 Learn more by reading our book "Yoni Magic: The Spectacular Truth" (Ages 3-5+), this book introduces kids to body confidence while teaching them accurately, assigned-male anatomy! |
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"Yoni Magic: The Amazing Truth"(Ages 3-5+) is your practical and fun guide that teaches accurate, assigned-female anatomy. in a shame-free format. |
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Regardless of the approach, you decide to take, itâs essential to teach your kids about their bodies and how to engage in the world. Through your behavior, rules, and reactions, you can help them understand the importance and necessity of covering up when necessary and also feeling free to be naked when itâs safe and appropriate. Body confidence starts at home. As you help your kids grow up with body awareness and free of shame, itâs an opportunity to learn to love yourself more too.Â
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]]>When it comes to gender, ideas about what it means to be a girl or a boy are everywhere, and these ideas have a big influence on your kid. Learn how to teach your kid that their gender doesnât limit them. This International Pronouns Day is a great way to educate your kids on gender identity.
Emphasize that they should approach everyone with kindness and not assume a personâs identity or pronouns. Explain that kids and adults have every right to dress, act, and identify in ways that make them feel good and healthy, as long as they are respecting the safety of others. Â
Pronouns are some of the smallest words in any language, but their frequent use makes them compelling identity markers â especially for trans and non-binary individuals.
International Pronouns Day aims to make respecting, sharing, and educating about personal pronouns commonplace. This year marks the fifth anniversary of the day.
Talking about gender can seem scary, but you need to realize you are already having similar conversations with your kids. You tell your kids that any person can use a particular color, work in any profession, and wear any clothes that make them feel good. This can also explain when talking about Gender Identity.
If your daughter asks you âare they a boy or a girl?â donât assume or pretend to know.Â
Instead, use gender-neutral language, like âtheyâ and âthemâ pronouns, to let your child know that until a person self-identifies, you canât be sure. Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is primary to human dignity. Being referred to by the wrong pronouns, particularly, affects transgender and gender nonconforming people.Â
Sometimes adults claim to struggle with the concept of choosing pronouns - but thatâs often more linked to their closed-mindedness as opposed to a true difficulty. Youâll likely find that your kids pick this concept up easily and find it quite straightforward to respect other peopleâs identities and pronouns. The biggest thing is âdonât assume;â instead allow people to inform you about themselves, and respect what they say, once they do!
By teaching your kids about gender identity, we can practice kindness and mutual respect while celebrating peopleâs multiple, intersecting identities.
When you think about gender identities, think about a universe where Man is one planet, Woman is another, and non-binary is the rest of the universe. Outside of those three planets, thereâs a whole universe to explore!
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If youâve got a young person in your life who has expressed that they have a nonbinary identity, how cool is it to get to have a front-row seat while they explore different parts of the universe that might be customary to you?
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It can also be confusing when considering sex and gender for the first time.
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Sex is assigned based on your chromosomes and your genitals.Â
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If you have X & Y chromosomes and a penis, you're a male.
If you have X & X chromosomes and a vulva, you're a female.
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Itâs important to explain that there are people who donât fit into these neat columns. While itâs rare, some people are born with more chromosomes, they have XX and XY, or they are born with male chromosomes but not male genitals. These people fall under the term intersex.
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Intersex means they cannot be defined as one sex because thereâs something in their bodies that differs from the rule of male and female. Explain to your child this doesnât mean they are wrong or abnormal, this just means they donât fit into the two-category rule doctors have used (a rule that excludes intersex people.)Â Â
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Gender is how you feel about your identity (masculine, feminine, or other). You can feel like one of these, both, or none at all.
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Let your kids know that each person gets to decide what gender they identify with. To explain gender and pronouns better, try writing down gendered and neutral words for your child to identify. Your child might understand that the "girl" words describe her identity best, and this will help you show her that neutral words are the words her new friend identifies with best. It will give your child a more concrete way to understand gender identity. Â
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Too many people donât understand the difference and importance of sex, gender, and pronouns. Make sure your kids learn to have empathy towards all people, and in return to be proud of themselves, however, they might identify.
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Itâs important to teach your kids these things so if they ever struggle with their gender identity, they can come to you because you shared this information with them.
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If you still need more information and resources to help you with this talk, My Little Yoni has something for you!Â
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Read our book, Yoni Magic: Breaking the Binary, reading this book with your kids will help solidify these concepts in a fun, shame-free way!
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 Supporting International Pronouns Day is a wonderful way to promote inclusivity and respect for people's gender identities.
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]]>Even though masturbating in childhood is normal and age-appropriate, seeing your kid masturbating can be confusing to know how to handle it as a parent.Â
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Developmental experts and child educators agree - child masturbation is normal and age-appropriate behaviour. Whatâs unnatural is not masturbation but the lack of education we receive that makes it difficult to discuss this very common, normal behavior. But hopefully, by the end of this article, you have more data-backed information and tools to make this topic easier to talk about.Â
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Not all kids will masturbate, but most do, whether you know about it or not. As parents, our job is to help make sure they are safe, protected, and informed about their bodies without shame. (Since shame usually only leads to confusion and secrecy.)Â
Masturbation is something that kids usually discover as they are exploring their bodies or play. Masturbation in children isnât even âsexualâ in terms of how adults think about it. Itâs as simple as the discovery of âhey it feels good to touch this part of my body!âIt might be something that they do occasionally.Â
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Or it might be something that they do regularly.Â
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Some kids might rub their genitals at nap time, when watching the tv or when they are bored, stressed, need comfort, or tired.
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So as well as feeling nice, it is a behavior that can soothe and relax them, somewhat like thumb sucking and hair twirling. You could look at it as another way that kids manage their feelings.
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Knowing what to do when your young kid masturbates can often leave you with more questions than answers (we feel you!)
First of all, take a deep breath. Try not to panic and get upset if you find your child touching their genitals. Most parents received negative messages about our bodies and masturbation, so the goal is to break that cycle and not pass on more negative messages that can harm our kids' self-esteem, body image, and later on, their comfort with sex as an adult.
Second, Create safety by reminding them that masturbation or touching their genitals is a "private activity" that should happen in a "private place". It can take a lot of reminders until kids fully understand the concept of privacy.
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You could say try saying something like, âItâs okay to touch your penis/vulva. But, because it is a private part of your body, you should only touch it in a private place, like your bedroom. So if you want to do that...You should go to your bedroom.â You can then send them to their room, but make sure itâs not seen as a punishment, but rather a safe, private place. |
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They might need a lot of reminders before they start to remember this automatically.Â
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You could try saying something like, âI know...it can feel good to touch your penis/vulva. But, where do we do private activities? Do you want to go to your room for private time?â |
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If you, as Mom or Dad, are uncomfortable talking about the subject, the child may pick that up and interpret it with guilt or shame. We suggest that parents practice talking about what to do when young kids masturbate with each other or with trusted friends first.
Once the conversation is underway Try to just accept whatever direction the conversation goes. Your kid might have more questions, not want to speak about it, want to know about your habits, or be too embarrassed to discuss further. All that is fine; practice patience, and honesty, and remember it takes a lot of courage to forge ahead. Even if you must continue the conversation later, assure your child that youâll talk about it again and answer all his/her questions.Â
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Remember:Â If we are silent, the only voice our children hear is our cultureâs voice. This includes all the icky media and internet content.
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Usually, there isnât anything to worry about it. Child masturbation is just normal age-appropriate behavior.
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The only time that you should be worried is when:
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*If you believe your kid's behavior in this area is excessive or compulsive, or if its onset is coupled with circumstances or events that trigger more severe behavior, immediately consult with a trained counselor.
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Masturbating is something almost everyone does, and there should never be any shame attached to it. The way you talk to your child about masturbation, especially your tone, can make a lasting impression.Â
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âBe calm, warm, and matter-of-factâ, when addressing the potentially touchy subject.
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Parenting is a hard job, and kids have a way of forcing us to confront the parts of ourselves weâd rather ignore. We need to permit ourselves to seek help when we need it, to know that we donât have to have all the answers, and we donât have to do this alone. Hopefully, as your kid learns things for the first time, youâll learn alongside them and realize that this subject matter - and everything that comes later - can be easier than movies or history would lead us to believe. You can do it!Â
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Thankfully there are helpful resources that promote a healthy understanding of masturbation. Check out our Yoni Magic Books Series for more on this topic and also an entire comprehensive sex education curriculum.
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Breastfeeding has many health benefits for both mom and baby. Taking care of yourselves and focusing on your well-being is also essential. As Meredith Fein Lichtenberg says, "Breastfeeding is work, and you have to care for your own body while you're doing it."
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Did you know that when you're nursing, calcium is taken from our bones so that our breast milk contains enough of it?
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Moms can lose 5â10% of bone mass in the first 6 months of breastfeeding. In addition to the physical side effects of nursing, moms may also experience mental stressors.
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Thus, breastfeeding takes a toll on your body!
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Pumping breast milk into bottles for hours a day or breastfeeding your baby every hour or two can take away your sense of body autonomy. As a mom, you are bound to your baby's feeding schedule. And while there's no more incredible beauty than sustaining life, it does not mean it's wrong to have challenging emotions rise. The judgment, loss of sleep, and uneven distribution of parental responsibilities with breastfeeding can also be stressful to a new mom.Â
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Breastfeeding is integral to motherhood, but it doesn't mean you should neglect yourself. Taking good care of yourself means being able to provide the best nutrition for your baby. However, if you aren't taking care of your own body's needs, you can quickly get depleted and fatigued.
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1. Eat a healthy and balanced diet Even though you can eat almost anything, it doesn't mean you should. Remember, if your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs from what you're eating, it will get them from elsewhere. It's essential to replenish your body with the nutrients required to ensure your body and baby are happy and healthy |
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2. Drink plenty of hydrating fluids Staying hydrated can help keep your body healthy and strong. Your body needs even more fluids during breastfeeding to produce breast milk. Aim to consume enough required water daily for health and then drink beyond that throughout the day. A small amount of high-quality mineral salts in filtered water for added electrolytes is a great addition to your body, brain, and baby. Stay away from sugary drinks or diuretics. A favorite hack for energy boosts is a 30-second cold shower which is as effective as coffee. |
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3. Build a support system and ask for help Whether it's a partner or sibling, parent or friend, find someone ready and willing to help with the baby. This will come in handy when you need to sleep, take a break, or have time for self-care. If you feel discouraged and ashamed about breastfeeding, you can ask for help from your support system or professional help. If you're having trouble breastfeeding, set aside the shame and ask for some help. It will not only give you confidence, but it will ensure you and your baby are on the right track. |
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 4. Rest whenever you can You've all heard that when the baby's sleeping, you should be sleeping. Ignore the dishes, put down your phone, look past the chaos of the living room and get some sleep. A good rest will refresh you and give you the energy to take on your responsibilities. Remember that support system; ask them to come over and take care of things for a little while, so you can shower and catch up on some much-needed rest. |
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5. Talk about your feelings. Sometimes you may be resentful because your nipples are achy, and you can't take naps. It's normal, but you don't need to be ashamed. Talk about your feelings to someone you trust, a family member, friend, or health professional. Either way, it's important to communicate how you feel. Having space to move the challenging emotions can open more feelings of gratitude and presence. |
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6. Take time for yourself. Even if you're only taking a few minutes of your day, a 5-minute walk or 10 minutes of exercise, go out and take time for yourself. Make your daily 'space for self' ritual simple and easy to follow through on. A minute a day can help you get perspective and stay on track, then try to take a slightly longer break once a week. Make this a habit throughout your life to avoid burnout and return to the baby with replenished energy. |
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7. Practice gratitude Too often, you glaze over what needs to be moved to summon up genuine gratitude, but the practice of gratitude is simply appreciating the small things. Saying what you're grateful for when you wake up or before you go to sleep at night can help heighten the emotion, allowing you to fully express it throughout the day. Gratitude is a practice that can help you open up to a more present state of mind, help you get more out of life, and helps to navigate difficult emotions. |
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Make sure your needs as a mama are prioritized, which will benefit your baby & family. |
It can feel like a lot to ask a new mom to take time for her. However, it's too much to ask a mom to take care of the baby without having her take care of herself. When you're tired, you won't be able to do everything you need to do. |
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 How much do you know about nursing your baby?  |
According to Planned Parenthood, only 39 states and the District of Columbia mandate some kind of sex education and/or HIV education. Less than half of high schools cover all the 20 topics recommended by the CDC in their comprehensive sex education programs.
There's a huge gap between the sex education that children need and what they're taught. Children are innately curious and when they lack sex education in schools, they turn to the internet as a resource. Hence, parents play an important role in teaching their children about sex education to prevent them from being misled by inappropriate resources. However, it can be difficult to teach your children if your knowledge about sex ed is a little lacking.
Ariel Saint White, an author, entrepreneur, and the founder of My Little Yoni takes even further in breaking down taboos and giving parents and kids quality body-positive education. Ariel shares how to make the sensitive subject matter easier to talk about and the importance of parents having open conversations with their kids in connection with the broken state of sex-ed in the US. Read on the interview of Abbey from Mimosas of Moms with Ariel Saint White.
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I've worked in the field of sexual wellness for over 15 years and it originally started off working with women and helping women have a more connected relationship with their sexuality and with their pleasure. Moving away from the culture that's all just centered on the man's pleasure.
A lot of my clients were moms and as I went down this path, I realized that parents struggle to talk to their kids. And more than that, how great would it be if there were more resources for kids to just grow up knowledgeable and feeling comfortable and shame-free. So that's when I took a turn into sex education, supporting parents by having these conversations directly with their kids. That is the ultimate reason why I created My Little Yoni - a nonprofit organization centered on spreading accurate quality sex education in a way that makes these conversations easier and fun.
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So we always say that it's never too young to start these conversations in the same way kids are learning about everything else in life. Why wouldn't they be learning about their body? You're naming body parts, name all the body parts including the genitals. But because of the culture we live in, it can be very easy to skip over that or to give really âcutieâ names.  |
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"It's important to know accurate anatomy that helps kids grow up not only feeling more comfortable but also more able to be their own advocates because they actually have the right names."
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And so sex ed, it starts there. It starts with accurate anatomy and generally around age three is a good time to introduce that. That's why we have a 10-book series and our first two books are for the age range of three to five. And at that point, it really is just a conversation around anatomy. Kids don't have any shame or taboo and they're totally open to everything because they're discovering what it means to be human here in a body. But from there developmentally, generally, things like self-pleasure start coming up. So it's totally normal if that starts coming up around five sometimes earlier, sometimes later.
The next book series focus on self-pleasure and that is actually a doorway into the beginnings of the consent conversation. It is totally normal to touch your body because it's interesting and might feel good, but do that in private. And only you should be touching your body, your body belongs to you and you always need to ask before touching anyone else's body. That's one thing I like to help parents remember if your kid is touching their own body, their genitals, that's totally natural and it's not sexual in the same way.Â
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Noticing your own child's development is really helpful. So if your kid is masturbating in the living room, that's a good opportunity if they're not disturbing anyone. Let them have their experience and then pick up that conversation. Tell them that itâs totally normal to touch your body, but it's something you want to do in privacy. The main thing is we don't want shame to come into the conversation. It's normal to explore your body but then at the same time, we want our kids to be safe. And that's where conversations around privacy and even cleanliness come in washing.
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I think it's important that even though there are guidelines of what subject matter and how to introduce it at which age kids develop at different rates, the main thing is thinking out this whole subject matter is a series of ongoing conversations. It's not a one-time conversation. You need to establish yourself as the trustable go-to adult in your kid's life just so they feel comfortable bringing anything.
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We've had innovation and improvement in so many other areas, but not really in sex ed. So that same repressive shame-based abstinence-focused education is still what's broadly accepted and there's also nothing required at the federal level so it comes down to states. And if you do look at where the federal government has spent money, it is generally in the abstinence-only approach which we know doesn't work.
When you look at other developed nations that have more encompassing comprehensive sex education, teen pregnancy rates and instances of sexual assault are much lower. Here in the United States, teen pregnancy rates are off the chart and so abstinence-only education doesn't actually work. The other thing is because it comes down to just the state level, sex ed is only even required in 29 states, it's only required to be medically accurate in 23 states and then consent education is only required in seven states.
Some parents think that schools will handle but once you know, you would probably say I do need to take this on a bit more. Sex ed is not just protecting your body against STDs or unplanned pregnancy. It's about consent, protecting yourself in different relationships, and knowing your boundaries.Â
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Even if you're initiating these conversations and establishing yourself as a trusted go-to adult, that doesn't mean you have to have it all figured out yourself. It's more about having those conversations, bringing in ideally tools and resources, and then learning alongside your kids. If they're getting this great education from the ground up, you might be in all likelihood reeducating yourself probably in the process. It's okay to not have all the answers during the conversations but make sure to get back with them.Â
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We have the 10-book series, the first 2 books - The Amazing Truth and Spectacular Truth focused on the female and male anatomy for ages three to five. Then we have, What's the M word, masturbation book to focus more on vulvas. The next one is All About Consent and that's ages five to eight+.Â
We have a range because it's all about empowering parents and recognizing that ultimately you're seeing how your child is developing. As parents, you can review the material and you might see that there is some topic that you might think your child is not quite ready to know about or ready for things earlier than what we're recommending.
The next in the series is Creating Life and that's ages six to eight, then Loving LGBTQ, a book focused on love and sexual orientation. And then we have a book called Breaking the Binary which is all about gender identity. The book Beyond the Birds and the Bees are for ages eight to 10, that's where we start getting into intercourse, partner sex, and going a bit further. The Power of Periods is really great for anyone who is having their period. Itâs also a good book for boys to understand periods. The last book in the series is called a new baby is coming, it's all focused on pregnancy and helping a child understand what their pregnant parents going through. Itâs also emotionally preparing to become an older sibling.
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You can find every book at www.mylittleyoni.com and we have also dolls that are companions of the books. For every book series we sell, we donate a book to at-risk youth and then we also operate as a nonprofit. Â
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Your kids might be aged out of this or you might not have kids, but you still understand how important it is to get this education out more widely. And that's why we created the nonprofit part and are able to receive donations because our mission is to get accurate, positive sex ed out to as many families as possible, as widely as possible.
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You can listen to the full podcast episode and read more about the sex-ed books for kids here.
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S*x Ed Questions 101 |
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Your first instinct when your kids walk on to you is to stop what you're doing and put on your clothes. Take a moment to remain calm and compose yourself. Don't assume that your kids saw everything. How to explain this scenario depends on the kids' age and what they actually saw.Â
If your kids ask "what are you doing?" You can say that mom and dad need some alone time or are having a special time togetherÂ
The best time to explain is the day after the incident. And before you broach the topic, ask your kids what they saw and invite questions about what has happened. This will help you gauge their knowledge about sex and how you respond with an explanation.
Donât pretend nothing happened because this can stigmatize sex and confuse your kids. It might leave an impression that sex is shameful. Not giving them correct information may leave them confused and thus, they may look for answers elsewhere. With the proliferation of online porn, we as parents need to guide our kids and keep them safe.Â
Aside from installing a lock for your bedroom door, the best thing to do to prevent being caught having sex is to sit down with your kids from an early age and talk about privacy and boundaries. Teach your kids to knock on your door and get permission before entering.Â
Getting caught in the act is indeed embarrassing but it's best to have a conversation with your kids. Don't feel guilty or avoid the topic because your kids may conclude that sex is shameful.Â
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STDs have been skyrocketing for years. Public health experts are warning about expected STDs rising that started even before the pandemic hit. Cases of chlamydia have increased by 19 percent since 2015. Gonorrhea was up 56 percent at the same time. Even more alarming, syphilis jumped 74 percent.
The unfortunate reality is that these diseases spread because people do not get enough sex education. Raul Romaguera says that less than 20 years ago, there were fewer cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia. That progress had been lost because of challenges to the public health system.
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Only 17 states require medically accurate sex ed and only 7 states require topics such as consent to being covered. In 1982, the federal government spent more than $2 billion on abstinence-only until marital education. Research also proves that these programs are not only ineffective but can even be harmful to young children. In 2013, an analysis of research around the world showed that children have seen pornography as early as 10.
Abstinence education only highlights the effective way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases but it doesnât always focus on how to have safe sex practices. Children are innately curious and when they lack sex education in schools, they turn to the internet as a resource. Thus, they can see unsafe sex practices and take this as a norm.
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We all know that when children donât get the proper, medically accurate information, they become more vulnerable to contracting STDs. More than half the cases of STDs are coming from young children. During these times where STDs are on the rise, we should start teaching sex education at home.Â
Many parents expect the school to handle sex-ed for their children, but schools arenât up to the task. Thatâs why we are committed to giving parents tools to better educate their kids. Most children are growing up unprepared to handle these very crucial stages of their life. This includes how to avoid contracting STDs but you have an opportunity to help change this right now.
My Little Yoni, the worldâs first vagina superhero shares comprehensive sex education with parents and children of all ages. We have our doctor-approved sex-ed book series covering all the topics children usually donât learn at school. This includes accurate anatomy, consent, periods, how babies are made, LGBTQ+, and more.
Our children's sex-ed books make the tough conversations that parents need to navigate both easier and fun. My Little Yoni guarantees you'll get practical and fun guide sex education in a shame-free format. This can help lay the foundation for your children's sexual health and development.
]]>? I worry about sharing this information with her too early! I can tell she has become more curious about her body, but I don't know if she's ready for that . Really, I don't know if I'm READY for this talk!" - Georgia, 41
First off, take a breath mama! I promise no matter how you think the goes; your daughter will be better off for having it. Secondly, every makes their own decision about when to have this . For some, it's when begins, for others they don't have it at all! So, give yourself a pat on the back for grappling with something that isn't easy. Talking to your about self-pleasure isn't simple, especially when your is female. Oftentimes, parents themselves never had a about the natural behavior of self-pleasure! But the fact of the matter is " is developmentally normal for ."
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Whether you choose to have the or not, let it be known that it's still happening. The main difference: will it be in the context of openness and honesty, or will it be shrouded in and hiding?
I'm not suggesting bombard your kids with information on a to pleasure and their body. before they're ready for it, but to instead plant this idea: "it's natural to explore your in the privacy of your own room." If you see your daughter rubbing her manually or on objects, don't freak out! Oftentimes, the immediate reaction is to stop them and tell them the behavior is inappropriate. But this will inevitably give your the idea that is inappropriate behavior, and shrouded in altogether, which simply isn't true. Instead, see it as an opportunity to have an honest about what's appropriate. Try saying, "Your body is YOURS, and you can touch your yoni in your own private space." Setting the boundaries early on and not condemning the activity altogether will allow your to have
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When touch their , it's not because they feel sexual, it's because they feel pleasure. All they know about this activity is that it feels good. is natural, and therefore self-pleasure is natural.
If you worry that a to typically engage in partnered later in life. Furthermore, they have an easier time communicating their needs to partners if they do decide to become sexually active. However, when girls are left in the dark, it's much more common for them to accept being treated as sexual objects and tolerate painful sexual experiences. will lead to earlier , know that these fears are unfounded and inaccurate. In fact, girls who have
How can you expect them to speak up when they don't know the difference or have the language to speak about it? But if girls have a direct with their own vulvas and pleasure, they are more likely to have a voice and more choice when it comes to partnered sexual relationships later in life. If your needs more explanation than, "this is your yoni, you can touch it in your own private space," and has more questions about arousal, then you might need to explain the idea of pleasure and to them. Explaining to them accurately how their body reacts to arousal, stimulation, and satisfaction will ultimately let them know that this is normal, and everyone's bodies have these natural reactions. Often, when parents begin these conversations, they can feel uncomfortable and don't know where to start. Try being open and honest with them about your own experiences, this lets your know they aren't alone. If your still has more questions, just try to give them honest and accurate information as best as you can. Luckily, My Little Yoni has tons of resources for parents, including our new Yoni Magic: What's the 'M' Word? Use this as a resource, and know that you are giving your accurate and OBGYN approved information.
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You have to discern when your the will be ongoing. Your may be satisfied with you saying "this is your yoni, you can explore it and touch it in your own private space," or they may be ready to talk about arousal and sexual desire. It all depends on your 's development. Try rehearsing these talks to ensure you're ready to discuss self-pleasure whenever your is. If you still walk away from this column thinking, "I still have no idea what to say!" take a look at our latest book, is ready, what information to give them, and keep it all positive and affirming. I want to remind you that with this topic, like most , Yoni Magic: What's the 'M' Word?. It's part of our comprehensive book series, and it covers everything from what pleasure is, , to arousal, to how to self-pleasure. You and your can read it and discuss what you've both learned together. Once again, don't stress , you got this!
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]]>-only-until-marriage programs, or AOUM, have been implemented in U.S. schools federally since 1966. However, this type of ' ' laid the foundation of sex-ed programs in America, beginning in 1904.
Even though politicians continue to taut the importance of -only programs, the data shows us that these programs don't work. Considerable scientific evidence accumulated over the past 20 years shows that AOUM programs are not effective at preventing or STIs, nor do they have a positive impact on the age of first , the number of sexual partners, or other behaviors. Not only are they ineffective, but many scientists also state they do more harm than good.
Thirteen leading experts in adolescent research and policy, including Guttmacher Institute researcher Laura Lindberg, reviewed the scientific evidence accumulated and concluded that AOUM programs are not only ineffective but are also stigmatizing and unethical. In fact, the language in many AOUM programs causes harm specifically to young women.
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The educators include demonstrations about girls being 'worn out' from too many partners, resulting in analogies that are dehumanizing and demoralizing. These analogies include comparing women to a chewed-up piece of gum, a worn-out piece of tape, and a pair of dirty shoes. Can you imagine what that does to the burgeoning that actually prepares children for the responsibilities and life-affirming joys of sex. and self-image of girls? Nothing good. Typically, they feel disheartened and ashamed of their and destined to live a painful or unfulfilling sex life. While we might be sending rockets to space, it's time for them to innovate
When girls grow up feeling safe and confident in their bodies, they grow up to be women who are confident and creative in life. Healthy, shame-free sex - which can include masturbation or partner sex- has multiple health benefits, both mental and physical.
While some women fight to reclaim healthy for themselves after the damage done by repressive ideologies, culture, schools, or inherited family patterns, the new generation of parents can make different choices and give their children a better start. We cannot wait another 100 years and expect schools to do it for us. Parents must take this responsibility into their own hands, and I'm here to help you find your way.
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and sexual relationships and helps them navigate a world fraught with , inequality, unintended , and sexually transmitted infections. is a curriculum-based process of teaching and learning about the cognitive, emotional, physical, and social aspects of . It aims to equip children and with knowledge, skills, attitudes, and values that will empower them to prioritize their and well-being; develop respectful social and sexual relationships; consider how their actions affect their own well-being and that of others and understand and ensure the protection of their rights throughout their lives. This type of empowers to make responsible choices when it comes to their
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Many parents worry that teaching a about sex will lead to a loss of innocence. In reality, a lack of high-quality, age and developmentally-appropriate and relationship is what leaves children and vulnerable to harmful sexual behaviors and sexual exploitation. helps eliminate shame before it begins, reinforces respect for all genders and people, and highlights the importance of consent and boundaries. Make this a reality by starting with yourself, at home, and in your community.
The federal government not only funds -only-until-marriage programs but continues to appoint AOUM lobbyists to high power positions, in turn cutting positive & effective like the Teen Program and actively works to remove requirements that programs be based on scientific evidence. Do we have a large problem that will require long-term reform but the opportunity that begins right now? Parents and community members get to step up and share directly with their children. Turns out, American parents should take some tips from the Dutch! In the Netherlands, Early is considered normal, yielding a lot of positive results. Even looking at the relationships between American parents & children, compared to Dutch parents & children proves we have a thing or two to learn. In the book Girls & Sex, Peggy Orenstein's research revealed, "The American moms had focused on the potential risks and dangers of , while their dads if they said anything at all, stuck to lame jokes. Dutch parents, by contrast, had talked about the joys and responsibilities of intimacy." Unlearning the messages constantly pumped into your brain by society is a tall order. But if you work to approach positively, while helping your kids prepare for the risks, they will create positive relationships with their bodies and . Showing your kids that when they become curious about sex they can come to you without shame, will inspire lasting bonds and trust. It's up to you to give your children a better idea of sex, , , and the pleasure and life-giving force of having a body.
My Little Yoni creates products and content to help parents teach their children in a shame-free way. My job as a vagina superhero includes finding solutions to the problems I see daily. Young women struggle to find a positive connection to their bodies. helps make positive associations to sex, a natural part of life, in addition to preparing them to handle responsibly. Help make this new normal a reality!
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Talking with your kids about sex is important to help them understand sexual health and development, and learn about how to be more responsible in their sexual behavior.
There are only 17 states that require medically accurate information. Only seven states require covering topics like sex education, and only nine states cover LGBTQ+ in the curriculum. Since 1982, the federal government has spent over $2 billion on Abstinence-only-until-marriage education. Over 20 years of research proves that these programs are not only ineffective but can even be harmful to kids. Kids who aren't being taught about sex by their schools often go online to get information. Pornography is what they seek out most often.
In 2013, an analysis of research from around the world suggests that anywhere between 43% to 99% of kids have seen porn with their first exposure often happening at around 10 to 11 years of age. Parents should talk to their kids about sex and teach them the correct information. This will help them feel more comfortable in their body, be more prepared for healthy relationships and establish boundaries with other people.
Sex education should be more than just talking about reproduction. It should include everything related to sexuality. It does not end with one big talk but rather, it's a continuous conversation about sexuality, and as they grow older we can elaborate and introduce other concepts. It often begins with anatomy lessons during toddler years and learning about consent at early childhood age. Once your child reaches the next childhood stage, certain topics such as self-pleasure, gender identity are added according to their age and level of development.
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We all know how hard it is to talk to your kids about sex, often because parents havenât been equipped with the most accurate information themselves. With the help of OBGYN, sex educator, and licensed psychologist partners, weâve put together Yoni Magic, a 10 Sex Ed book series to put the empowering education directly into parentsâ hands. This series includes a variety of topics from natural wonders of female and male anatomy to gender identity and diversity that were written and illustrated in a shame-free free format. Â
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How can we expect our daughters to love their bodies, when our society tells us they are inherently shameful? Listen to this mom and daughter have a candid conversation about confidence, self-love, and girl power.
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My daughter has been asking a lot of questions about gender lately. She just made a new friend who identifies as non-binary, so she came home with a LOT of questions. I want to make sure Iâm giving her accurate info. Iâm also nervous this subject might rub off on her or confuse her / make her want to be nonbinary. What do I do?â - NoraÂ
Hi Nora! First off, just know itâs natural for your daughter to be asking questions. Children are naturally curious and always eager to learn new things. Your daughter is likely asking simply because sheâs never met someone who identifies as non-binary. Itâs important to answer your daughterâs questions accurately, because not answering will likely confuse her more. Normally, when a parent doesnât know how to discuss a topic, the go to behavior is to shut down the childâs natural instinct to learn. But that could tell them that the person they are trying to understand is bad and taboo. You want to promote empathy and compassion in your child, so they come to understand all people. Having meaningful conversations with your child is part of catching up to an increasingly diverse world! Often, itâs not kids who struggle to adapt and accept. Parents need to check their assumptions based on years of biases and learned construct on gender and gender expression. People are just people, and you want your kids to know that! Itâs OK to be uncomfortable while learning that gender always has been fluid, but itâs not ok to deny someone elseâs safety or existence. Everyone deserves to feel good and be seen for who they are, including children.Â
Talking about gender can seem scary, but you need to realize you are already having similar conversations with you daughter. You tell your kids that any person can use a particular color, work in any profession, and wear any clothes that make them feel good. Gender identity can be explained in the same way. If your daughter asks you âare they a boy or a girl?â donât assume or pretend to know. Instead, use gender-neutral language, like âtheyâ and âthemâ pronouns, to let your child know that until a person self-identifies, you canât be sure. Emphasize that they should approach everyone with kindness and not assume a personâs identity or pronouns. Explain that both kids and adults have every right to dress, act, and identify in ways that make them feel good and healthy, as long as they are respecting the safety of others. Â
If your daughter has more questions, try explaining the difference between gender and sex. A doctor assigns you a sex, male or female at birth. They assign the sex based on your chromosomes and your genitals. If you have X & Y chromosomes and a penis, you are assigned male. If you have X & X chromosomes and a vulva, you are assigned female. But itâs important to explain that there are people who donât fit into these neat columns. Some people are born with more chromosomes, they have XX and XY, or they are born with male chromosomes but not male genitals. These people fall under the term intersex! Intersex means they cannot be defined as one sex because thereâs something in their bodies that differs from the rule of male and female. Explain to your child this doesnât mean they are wrong or abnormal, this means they donât fit into a rule doctors have used that excludes intersex people. Â
People mistakenly use the terms sex and gender interchangeably. While the two terms are connected, they arenât equivalent. Doctorâs assign sex at birth, but we tend to assume their identity will match their gender as they grow up. This isnât always true, and itâs not wrong or incorrect. Transgender means that a person born with male sex actually identifies as a woman or vice versa. Gender fluid, gender neutral, and genderqueer are all terms that fit under the nonbinary category. While explaining these terms, remind your child that itâs best not to apply labels one hasnât given you permission to use.Â
 Transphobic people will try and argue that gender identity is a new idea, but history shows us a different story. It helps your child to see that nonbinary people have existed throughout history. Explain that many Native American cultures recognize Two-spirit as a 3rd gender. Two spirit refers to a person who identifies as having both masculine and feminine spirits, and is used by some indigenous people to describe their sexual, gender, and/or spiritual identity. In almost every indigenous culture they were revered, respected, and honored. In indigenous cultures, two spirits were often visionaries, healers, or medicine people. Due to colonizing forces, Two Spirit people had been lost to indigenous cultures, and Native people were forced to adopt homophobic and transphobic attitudes. Clearly, the idea of gender identity and sex has a history, and people have been grappling with their identity for generations.Â
A personâs gender comprises complex relationships between three parts of themselves: body, identity, and social gender. Let your daughter know, each person gets to decide what gender they identify with, or if they donât fit into those labels at all. To explain gender and pronouns better, try writing down gendered and neutral words for your child to identify. Your child might understand that the âgirlâ words describe her identity best, and this will help you show her that neutral words are the words her new friend identifies with best. This gives your child a more concrete way to understand gender identity. Â
Explain to your daughter that gender identity is a personâs perception of having a particular gender, which may or may not correspond with their birth sex. Sex is a label, male or female, while gender is a social and legal status, and often has a set of rules or expectations from society. Every culture follows rules and thinks people should behave a certain way because of their gender. But these rules reflect how youâre expected to live, instead of being about your body, and these rules only fit into male or female.
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And you express that through your clothes, behavior, and personal appearance. Itâs a feeling that begins early on in life. Gender roles are expectations society and people have about behaviors, thoughts, and characteristics that go with someoneâs assigned sex. Itâs important to distinguish that gender roles reflect silly and outdated ideas like, âonly women can stay home and take care of kidsâ, and âonly men are tough and canât show their emotions.â OBVIOUSLY, this isnât true! Reinforce that women are smart and capable of achieving great success, and men are capable of not only being tough, but being vulnerable and sharing their feelings. Itâs important to tell your daughter gender is a structure and all the stereotypes and expectations of gender roles and gender expression can put pressure on a person and limit their true identity.Â
Too many people donât understand the difference and importance of sex and gender. You want to make sure your daughter understands and has empathy towards non-binary and trans people, so they are safe to express their gender truthfully. I know you are worried you might confuse your daughter, but giving her the information about gender identity will only allow her to decide what her true identity is. Itâs important to teach your daughter these things so if she does ever have struggles with her gender identity, she knows she can come to you, because you shared this information with her. Nora, you are an awesome parent for trying to research this information, instead of just being worried and deciding not to talk about it at all. If youâre still needing more information and resources to help you with this talk, My Little Yoni has got your covered. Read our book, Yoni Magic: Breaking the Binary, with your daughter, and give her a chance to ask questions and discuss it with you. This will help solidify these concepts in a fun, shame-free way! Thanks to you Nora, your daughter will be a more empathic and caring person. Â
]]>My son got in trouble for being overly affectionate to the girls in his class. My husband wants to brush it off as him being a loving little boy, but as victim of sexual assault, I canât. How do I explain boundaries and consent to my son so that he understands and respects peopleâs space?â -JocelynÂ
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Hi Jocelyn, I commend you for wanting to raise your son to be respectful and self-responsible. Explaining sexual consent to him starting young and ongoingly will help ensure that heâs a good and aware man. I want to thank you for sharing your experience as a mother and as a survivor. Raising kids to respect boundaries sets them up for success in the future. On the most basic level, consent means permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. Sexual consent means actively agreeing to be sexual with someone. Even though your child is not engaging in sexual activity, consent is important because it lets someone know that physical contact is wanted and welcome.Â
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Consent requires all people involved agree to participate in an activity together. Tell him consent is clear and communicated with words. Before touching anyone, he needs to learn to ask permission and if someone says no or is silent then it is not okay to touch them. This also means that he should speak up if someone touches him without permission. Give him examples of what consent looks like. Try saying, âYou know when I ask you for a kiss? Thatâs me asking for your consent!â Reinforce that consent is a choice people make without coercion, manipulation, or impairment. You can explain this to your son by saying, âIf you told me, âno mommy I donât want a kissâ, and I keep asking and asking until you give in, thatâs NOT consent! YOU have to make the choice by yourself.â Explaining consent in a way thatâs easy for him to understand will help solidify these concepts. Also remember this isnât a one-time conversation, but a conversation you will continue to have and reinforce over the coming weeks, months and years. Â
Be sure to tell your child consent can be given and taken away at any time. Again, put this into an example your child can understand. You can say, âSometimes you think you want carrots, but when you try them, you realize you donât like it and would rather not eat them. Should I still force you to eat those carrots? NO! Thatâs what itâs like with consent, you can change your mind at any time.â Discussing this important part of consent helps your child avoid confusion later on in life. Even adults have trouble grasping this concept. So, teaching your child early on lays a strong foundation. Â
Tell your son that youâre teaching him about consent to not only teach him to ask for permission, but to empower him to say no when he wants to. Teaching your child about these things gives them the power both to ask for and give consent. Your child will better know how to handle a sexual situation and assert his voice and boundaries all from learning about consent at a young age. With this knowledge, your son will become a better man for it and be able to share what heâs learned with his friends. You can also encourage him to speak up if he sees a situation where consent isnât being honored and to bring that to you or another trusted adult.Â
When it comes to your son's interactions with classmates you can explain to him: âYou wouldnât want a random person coming up and kissing you. In fact, you might not even want an acquaintance or good friend kissing you without permission. Thatâs why consent matters and you canât touch classmates without asking permission.â Itâs important to explain to your son what he did wrong when he got in trouble at school. Discuss why he needs to ask for consent from everyone, even friends who might have given him permission to hug them in the past. Â
Help your son by practicing consent in daily activities. If you donât already ask him for consent when giving hugs and kisses, start now! This shows him that the adults in his life respect his boundaries and gives him an example of how to ask for consent. Ask your family members and friends to respect your childâs boundaries. That means he doesnât HAVE TO give grandma a hug and kiss even if he doesn't want to. Â
Once again, Jocelyn, I commend you for teaching your son about a crucial topic. It would be easy to write this off as your son being a loving boy. Iâm sure your affectionate child means no harm, but even so, respecting peopleâs boundaries are important. If you still have questions about consent, check out our Yoni Magic Book, All About Consent. Reading this book together opens up a natural path for discussion, that way your son can ask any questions he has. Thanks for being a supermom Jocelyn and helping us create a world free of sexual violence.Â
]]>Are you a who is hesitant to teach your children at a ? Are you a that doesn't know when is the right age to start to teach your children about ?
However, children at a very have curious minds and are questioned about what they see around them. Children are innately curious and it is not usual for them to ask questions like "How did the baby get inside your tummy?" or "How are made?" â As parents, it is our responsibility to provide honest and correct answers to because giving them false information will keep them unsafe and ignorant. â â Teaching your children should begin as early and accurately as possible. It is also important to note that as , you need to empower your children with medically accurate resources that are shame-free and age-appropriate. Calling a by the correct name helps eliminate shame and stigma. It also can keep your safe.
It is also good to know that is not all about reproduction and teaching how to make , it also has a broader scope that helps children understand every aspect of and apply it meaningfully into their lives. It does not end with the big " " but rather, it's a continuous about , whereas a we can continue elaborating and introducing concepts as they grow older.
in the United States is broken. Only 17 states require medically accurate , and only 7 states require topics like to be covered. The Federal government wastes billions of dollars funding abstinence-only education programs which have been proven to be ineffective and can even be harmful. "
The study also showed that the United States has one of the highest known rates of adolescent pregnancy and in developed regions."
But that isn't the case in the Netherlands. is being taught in Dutch schools as part of the curriculum. As early as the age of 4, children learn about female and male anatomy and . The curriculum expands according to their age and level of development. Before middle school, children learn reproduction, , and .
Data shows that the Dutch approach to is highly effective. "The Netherlands boasts one of the lowest rates of teen pregnancy in the world, as well as low rates of HIV and other STIs.
The Netherlands offers an excellent lesson in the positive power of comprehensive education. Thus, centering love, empowerment, and respect rather than fear, shame, and stigma."
Teaching your children sexual education should begin as early as possible. It often begins with anatomy lessons during toddler years and learning about at age. Once your reaches the next childhood stage, certain topics are added according to their age and level of development. Topics such as self-pleasure, , and . It is important to explain all of these developmental topics in a way that your can fully understand. In that way, it helps your develop and keeps them safe in the world today.
Always remember, a big part of is education, and it all begins at home with parents.
Your superhero,
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 My daughter just told me she wants labiaplasty! I donât even understand where she got this idea from, but she is begging me for this surgery to alter her genitals. Sheâs only 16! Should I let her do it? How can I convince her sheâs perfect just as she is!â -Amanda
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Dear Amanda, I understand your concern. Sadly, itâs no surprise to me that your daughter is so young and asking for this surgery. I commend you for attempting to steer her away from this unnecessary procedure. For those who donât know, Labiaplasty is a procedure that trims the vulvaâs inner lips, or labia minora. Labiaplasty in girls 18 and younger jumped up to 49% in one year alone. Between 2015 and 2016, over 200 girls under 18 underwent the procedure, with over 150 of them being under 15. Young women are becoming increasingly concerned with âvaginal normalcy.â Ironically, âvaginal normalcyâ has nothing to do with your vagina being normal, but is an idea predicated by increases in edited images of vulvas and pornography. However, young women arenât the only ones with these concerns. 73% of women know someone whoâs embarrassed by their vagina. Ultimately, itâs your daughterâs body, and sheâs able to choose what she wants to do with it. But, letting her know the facts about labiaplasty and her labia minora before she makes this decision can only help. Â
âNormalâ labia come in all shapes and sizes, and itâs common for the labia minora to stick out past the outer lips of the vagina. Your labia have an important job! They protect the vaginal opening, which is made of delicate mucosa tissue, and filled with highly-sensitive nerve endings. Your labia block harmful bacteria from interfering with this sensitive area of your body. No matter the size, no labia minora are better than others, and these attitudes come from cultural cues your daughter receives. Â
Small labia have become a cultural norm, due to female performers in the adult film industry having small labia. If this is all young girls see, itâs becomes desirable to them. Take this opportunity to remind your daughter that pornography isnât real and that some of these performers have gotten labiaplasty themselves. Even for those performers who didnât, the performer was chosen because of arbitrary industry standards. Show your daughter some images of diverse vulvas, so she knows that yonis come in all shapes and sizes, and are all beautiful. Â
Pubic hair tends to play a role in the increase of labiaplasty as well. The rise in labiaplasty has been linked to the popularity of the Brazilian wax. The hairless trend makes women more aware of their yoniâs appearance, and often self-conscious. This isnât to say donât let your daughter groom her pubic hair, but this is another link in this trend. Explaining to your daughter this correlation allows her to realize this is a trend, and not something she should get surgery over. Â
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Many women feel embarrassed by their yonis, because they canât fathom that their yonis are NORMAL! Providing sources of education, where your daughter sees that she isnât alone in this, may help her realize she doesnât need surgery. I highly recommend the book Vulva Diversity. This book showcases illustrations of diverse vulvas, and includes insights from real women talking about their attitudes towards their yonis. If sheâs not interested in a book, thereâs an amazing vulva diversity Instagram, and you can always share the My Little Yoni Instagram with her too! I post educational and body positive messages every week. Finding a community to show your daughter sheâs normal will instill a new sense of confidence, and maybe change her decision. Opening up the conversation to YOUR attitude towards your yoni helps your daughter see that her relationship to her vulva can change. Â
Before your daughter makes a life-changing decision to get labiaplasty she should know the risks. Although 91% of women who have this surgery feel satisfied with their genital's appearance, thereâs no comprehensive data about the long-term effects. The female body changes throughout your life, so thereâs no telling how labiaplasty will affect women through the different phases of life. Depending on when your daughter began puberty, her yoniâs appearance might change, since labias increase in size during this process. Her body will go through several changes throughout her lifetime, especially if she decides to have children. The problem is, thereâs no telling how this surgery can affect her and thereâs no conclusive evidence on the risks. She needs to consider all these facts before going through with surgery. Â
As a Yoni, I often want to throw my hands up at the thought of labiaplasty. Really!? Another body part that women need to worry about changing for societal approval?
But I also understand that shame around the Yoni is complex, and that young women are fed messages that small labia equal sexually desirable.
With plastic surgery, my best advice is to make sure YOU want it for YOU.
Not due to outside pressure. Your daughter needs to take in this information and decide if itâs something SHE wants. It has to be 100% her!
Knowing that sheâs normal, that other women have complex relationships to their vulvaâs appearance, and that thereâs no telling what effect it will have on her body, allows her to make an informed decision.
Thatâs the best you can do for her, educate her. For anyone else that needs to hear this: Your yoni is normal, you are normal! Keep this in mind ladies, and spread that labia love. Â
]]>My daughter asked me, âwhere do babies come fromâ and I choked up said âfrom Mommyâs belly.â Iâm surprised this conversation makes me so nervous. I donât want to give her too much info, but I also want to be honest with her. What do I say!?â - YeseniaÂ
Donât worry Yesenia, I know for a fact other moms have had this same experience! Many parents feel uncomfortable with their own sexuality and at a loss for how to prepare their children. But, with the lack of adequate sex ed in schools, the reality is itâs up to parents to rise to the occasion and figure it out. You want to be the first one to tell your daughter about sex. We know that children can learn about sex from classmates, the internet, music and advertising, but these can often paint a dangerous picture of what sex is.
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The only way to ensure they know what sex really is. Having this conversation early, and keeping it ongoing, sets your child up for success. You establish yourself as approachable and âaskableâ, which creates the opportunity for you to give them accurate information. Donât worry if you missed the early boat either. Now is better than never! Give your kids the accurate information they need, no matter what age. Â
First off, I want to tackle a common misconception when it comes to early sex ed. You arenât ruining your childâs innocence by talking to them about sex. Who would you rather have them learn from: you or porn? Exactly. Keeping your daughter informed leads to her making smart decisions and postponing sexual activity until sheâs ready. The research shows it! Itâs important to keep language simple (eggs, sperm, etc.), factual (no stork!), and age appropriate. The conservation will grow as they do. Of course, there is more to sex than making babies and eventually, you will teach them this too. Â
Let your daughter steer the conversation. Kids develop at different rates, so a good rule of thumb is to let your child steer the conversation. If they ask questions, answer honestly. If they ask follow up questions, continue answering honestly until they seem satisfied or âfullâ of information. You donât want to confuse them with myths and lies, but you also donât want to overload them with too much information. Generally, when kids have enough info, they stop asking questions and move on to a new topic or activity. Â
To start, use an explanation YOU feel comfortable with. Babies come out of the yoni. Babies grow inside the womb of a mommy. Whatever you say, answer your childâs question honestly and accurately. Ideally, by the time children are learning about where babies come from, they already have accurate words for their body parts, including genitals. Thereâs no shame in a toddler knowing the accurate word for penis or vulva alongside knowing the words for elbow or belly button. Yoni is an actual word for vulva, if you prefer that term (I do!) As kids get older, youâll want to be more specific with different parts. For example, helping them understand the difference between the clitoris vs the vagina vs the all-encompassing vulva. Â
When discussing how babies are made, there are many different explanations you can use. A woman and man, a sperm and an egg, cells, or anatomical parts. As your child asks more questions, youâll want to name these parts by their accurate names. Hopefully we all know that a male makes sperm and a female has eggs, but with the state of sex ed, can you blame me for asking!? Explaining this accurately to your kids helps them grasp how life is created. Itâs important to let your daughter know that babies can be created in many different ways. Aside from natural conception, babies can come from egg or sperm donation, surrogacy, medically/technology assisted reproduction, and adoption. Â
Use this conversation as a teachable moment about other topics, like consent! A good way to explain and reinforce consent to your daughter is to let her know that a woman allows a man to put his penis inside her vagina so the sperm and egg can meet. We want children to know itâs something both parties should agree to. Generally, parents start the conversation by explaining sex is to make babies. However, thereâs obviously a lot more to sex than that and most sex is not procreation-based. You can explain to your daughter that thereâs more to sex than making babies and that consenting adults will do it because it feels good. It helps them feel close and can be an expression of love. Some parents prefer emphasizing trust over love, saying that sex is something that adults who trust each other do. Itâs important to make it clear that sex is for consenting adults and not for kids.Â
Remember, itâs the ongoing conversation that matters! This is only one conversation of many youâll have with your daughter over time. Your daughter will see you as the person to come to, and this conversation will only strengthen your relationship with each other. If youâre still feeling overwhelmed by the end of this, My Little Yoni has resources to help! You can purchase our book, Yoni Magic: Creating Life, and read it with your daughter. I always encourage reading a comprehensive sex ed book with your child, because this can lead to a longer conversation after the book is over! It gives your child a chance to visually see the information you are sharing as well as an opportunity to ask any questions she may have. Know that the more you talk with your daughter about sex, the easier it will be. So donât stress too much about saying exactly the right thing. Just starting the conversation is a big step. Remember, always answer your daughterâs questions honestly and accurately! She will appreciate it more than you know. The talk doesnât need to be daunting, Yoni Gang! Especially when youâve got Lil Yoâ to help you out. Yesenia, you got this mama!Â
]]>Today I want to share about the crazy experience a renowned sex educator named Justine Fonte went through, just for doing her job and offering accurate, age-appropriate sex ed in school! After 9 years of devoting herself to the students of Dalton School in Manhattan, sudden backlash from parents resulted in their cowardly, anonymous media attack and her ultimate resignation.
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After 9 years of devoting herself to the students of Dalton School in Manhattan, sudden backlash from parents led to a cowardly, anonymous media attack on Fonte's credibility and ultimately resulted in her resignation.
As the director of wellness and at a in Dalton she created the entire curriculum for grades K-12, in addition to being a respected who spoke at forums, hosted workshops, and taught presentations at other schools in New York City. However, when she was invited to teach two zoom sessions on pornography literacy and consent, to juniors and seniors at and , parents complained and sparked online outrage. Her curriculum, taken completely out of context, instigated debates about "teaching masturbation to first graders" even though
a) understanding proper anatomy and function is within the and guidelines from the World Health Organization and
b) this was not what Fonte's course was covering.
Fonte's session covered pornography and consent, two under-discussed topics, especially in public . In fact, a 2013 analysis of research from around the world, suggests that anywhere between 43% to 99% of children have seen porn. Their first exposure often happening at around 10 to 11 years and increases with age. Additionally, only 7 states require consent to be a part of the curriculum.
After learning these statistics, the expectation is that parents would be more likely to support a lesson like Fonte's. Yet as we see, demonstrated from Fonte's recent experience, there are still many parents -- including those of financial influence-- who would prefer to uphold harmful tradition and ideology over the wellbeing of students. If dedicated teachers like Fonte are forced to resign, this robs students of a who cares about their health and an that prepares them for their own development and the realities of modern culture.
As reported to the New York Times, Fonte says her , "equip(s) [ ] with a way that they can exercise body agency and consent, by knowing exactly what those parts are, what they are called, and how to take care of them... That was paired with lessons around, what are the different ways to say 'no'? And what's the difference between a secret and a surprise? And why you should never have a secret between a grown-up and you. Because it's never your responsibility as a child to hold a secret or information of a grown-up."
I can identify a superhero when I see one. Fonte is highly qualified and equally passionate about protecting children, preparing them for the realities of this world, and giving them the tools they need to develop a healthy .
When parents immediately feel outraged, without digging deeper to understand the long-proven benefits of harm kids , they can inadvertently by preventing them from receiving the vital they need!
In Solidarity,
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How do I explain to my kids that not all families look the same? My daughter has been confused because her best friend lives with two moms, and thatâs new to her. I want her to know that thereâs different parenting configurations, including LGBTQ+ families. How can I best explain this to her?â - Jeannie
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First off, itâs totally normal for kids to have questions like this, especially when they see something they arenât familiar with. Explaining to your daughter that families come in all shapes and sizes will only benefit your childâs development. She'll see there are many ways that families exist and thereâs no one right way to have a family. This can help your daughter be more accepting of others, as well as more empowered to have a family the way she wants to, down the road.
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If you get nervous or flustered, your daughter might pick up on these cues. But if you explain to her calmly and matter of fact, sheâll see this topic isnât that big of a deal, and that everyoneâs families are unique in their own way. Kids generally treat information the same way their parents do. If you make sure to let your daughter know that other family structures are normal and that you are comfortable talking about it, sheâll follow your lead.
It can be a good idea to begin by explaining that people become parents in many different ways. Parents can conceive a child through sexual reproduction, they can adopt a child, or they can have a surrogate carry the child through pregnancy. All these are normal and valid ways to have children. There are also situations where a child only has one parent, and even situations where a child has one biological parent and another who is not biological.
You can share with your daughter about your own family story. How did you and her other parent decide to create a family? And if your daughterâs friend is comfortable, you can ask her parents how they decided to start a family, too. Again, emphasizing that all these family types are valid, like your family, will show her that itâs normal to have two moms.
Emphasize the similarities you share with different family structures, rather than the differences. Explain to your daughter, âYour friendâs Moms are actually really similar to us! They make their kids do chores, their homework, and go to bed early on school nights too.â This will help your child see that even though her friend doesnât have the âtraditionalâ mom and dad, she has two parents who care about her.
Take this as an opportunity to also share kids may not always live with their parents. Some kids have grandparents who take care of them, aunts or uncles who care for them, or even foster parents. This is normal, too.
The most important thing to explain to your daughter is that even though some families look different from yours, they are connected the same way you are, through love! Her friendâs Moms love each other the same way other parents do, and they love their child in the same way you love your daughter. During this conversation, discuss that relationships can exist in any combination (woman/man, man/man, woman/woman, etc.) and that love has nothing to do with biological sex or gender.*
(You might want to get our two books âYoni Magic: Breaking the Binaryâ, and âYoni Magic: Loving LGBTQâ.) Share that this is why while families can look different from each other they are still normal, loving families.
Teaching children to respect and appreciate differences is a vital lesson. It will help them accept families different from them, accept people different from them, and accept themselves if they ever decide to raise a ânon-traditionalâ family.
Your daughter will likely accept your explanation quickly and move on. But if she has more questions about sexuality, be sure to check out our book, Yoni Magic: Loving LGBTQ+, for a more in-depth guide.
Good families are good families. They share more similarities with each other than differences and the number one similarity is LOVE!
]]>My daughter, Sammy, has her very first gynecologist appointment coming up. I worry because sheâs only 13, and I didnât have my first gyno visit until I was 21. Iâm not sure how to explain to her why these visits are necessary and that she can feel comfortable with the doctor, when Iâm still nervous at the doctorâs office. How do I explain the importance of cervical screenings?âÂ
 - JenniferÂ
Dear Jennifer, I understand! Doctorâs visits can induce nerves and fear in most people and with OBGYN appointments, it makes many women more nervous and concerned about their vulva appearance, smell, and even pubic hair. However, getting regular screenings is a vital part to your health. Iâm happy you are supporting your daughter to begin this part of her healthcare from a young age. Doctors recommend a yearly checkup to focus on the female reproductive system, starting between the ages of 13 and 15, so you are right on target. These visits, known as âwell-woman visitsâ, can catch small issues before they become big problems. These screenings help your doctor get a baseline for you so they can monitor your reproductive health over time.Â
Sammy isnât alone in her discomfort, and neither are you. You can ease her nerves by telling her what to expect in a well-woman visit. Explain to your daughter why the visit is needed, what she can expect, and talk about any questions or fears she might have.
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During her visit she can get accurate information and confidential answers to her questions about sex, sexuality, puberty, self-pleasure, sexual risks, and periods. Her doctor can diagnose and treat problems, such as missed periods, and pelvic or stomach pain. (Be careful if her doctor recommends hormonal treatments such as birth control from a young age. We now know that early hormonal treatment such as birth control can be linked to a whole host of problems later in life!) Her doctor will answer any questions she has, to ensure she leaves the appointment feeling comfortable and confident. If this is not your experience for some reason, please do more research and find another OBGYN that you feel confident and comfortable with.Â
For some girls, the first OBGYN visit can be as simple as a talk with the doctor. For others, their doctor may do a physical exam, including examining the vulva and breasts. Reassure your daughter that the physical exam doesnât take long and is a quick check to track your daughterâs development. Let your daughter know that she wonât need an internal pelvic exam and pap smear until sheâs older, starting at age 21. Although if your daughter experiences heavy bleeding, painful periods, or unusual vaginal discharge, her doctor might recommend a pelvic exam sooner. Talking about these things before the doctor visit helps your daughter feel prepared and at ease. Â
When choosing a health care provider, make sure Sammyâs involved. Ask your daughter what type of health care provider she prefers to see. Female or male? Younger or older? Does she want to see her pediatrician or someone new? Does she want to see your gynecologist, or would she prefer a doctor you donât know? After youâve determined your daughterâs comfort level; you can ask around to see who fits your familyâs needs. Try asking these questions to help choose a health care provider:Â Â
Include your daughter in this process and share the answers with her. Donât hesitate to talk to multiple healthcare providers before making a decision. You want find the best doctor to care for your daughter and enforce positive experiences with reproductive health from the beginning.Â
Even if your daughter wants you in the room during the exam, ask her if sheâd like alone time with the doctor to ask questions. Teens and tweens are entitled to privacy. Alone time lets her get to know her doctor and helps her feel at ease for future visits and confident in taking her health into her own hands. Â
After choosing a healthcare provider and explaining the importance of a well-woman visit, your daughter may have more questions. She'll wonder what the doctor will ask, what types of exams will happen, and what tests will be done? Answer all her questions honestly, and let her know sheâs not alone in her nerves. Explain the doctor will ask the following questions:Â Â
Share these questions and encourage her to have answers ready for her appointment. Her answers tell the doctor what tests to run and what issues to discuss. Remind her itâs important to answer truthfully, and she shouldnât feel embarrassed. The doctor discusses these topics with many patients, and will keep her information confidential. Â
During the exam, a couple different things happen. First, there will be a basic health check. Like a normal checkup, a nurse or assistant will measure things like weight, heart rate, and blood pressure. The doctor will examine her neck, heart, lungs, and belly to get a baseline of her general health for future exams. Before the external exam, your daughter will be asked to undress and put on a gown. The doctor will perform a breast exam. Although breast cancer in teens is rare, the breast exam is an important part of the visit. The doctor will apply light pressure to the breasts, and move their fingers in circular motions to check for lumps, cysts or breast problems. The doctor will ask her to lie on a table with her knees bent and spread apart. In this position the doctor will check the vulva to make sure there are no sores, swelling, or any other issues. Â
If a pelvic exam is necessary, the doctor will place one hand on the outside of your daughters' belly and one or two fingers inside the vagina. That way the doctor can feel the size and position of the ovaries and uterus. A speculum, a tool that opens the vaginal walls, lets the doctor see the walls and cervix. This allows the doctor to do screening tests like pap smears and STI tests. A pap smear occurs during an internal examination. Gynecologists recommend pap smears starting at age 21, and then every 3 years for women in their 20s. During a pap smear, the doctor lightly scrapes the cervix to obtain a cell sample, using a spatula or small brush. They test the sample in a lab for cell abnormalities and cervical cancer. Even if your daughter received an HPV vaccination, she still needs regular checkups and pap smears starting at age 21. Â
Although STI testing isnât part of the well-woman visit; girls who have been sexually active should ask for STDI screening. Doctors do these tests with blood or urine samples, or a sample cotton swab taken during the pelvic exam. Explain the sexual risks to your daughter. Even though she may trust her partner, itâs a good idea to get STI testing. Reassure your daughter that she can get her results privately and that she doesnât have to share the results with you if sheâs uncomfortable doing so, although encouraging sharing so that she feels supported is recommended.  Â
After the visit, talk to Sammy about how she felt about it. If she was made uncomfortable by the doctor or nurse practitioner, reassure her that you can find a new one. Well-women visits happen every year in order to keep your daughter and her yoni happy and healthy! Explaining this to your daughter lets her know how important her vulva health is. This Cervical Health Awareness Month, we should ALL take the time to reinforce the importance of regular screenings to the ones we love. Having annual screenings allows medical professionals to catch small things before they get bigger and ensure your vulva is healthy over the years. I hope Sammyâs first well-woman visit goes well, and that she finds the right doctor to help her care for her reproductive health. Keep your Yoni happy and healthy Yoni Gang! Â
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